Sir, what you had there was what we refer to as a focused non-terminal repeating phantasm, or a Class 5 Full Roaming Vapor. A real nasty one, too.~Dr. Ray Stantz, Ghostbusters

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"Well, what's the most important here?  The cancellation of the trip?  The acknowledgment?  The bit about the strong defense?"  (Cappon, 24)

Lately, I've been having some trouble deciding what the most important information is in a story, especially in our latest assignment, the accident report.  I have been trying to include both parts of the story (The car hitting a pedestrian and the package getting stolen).  However,  it just seems to loose the articles importance when I try.  I still think that I should be using both because they are both important leads but I just can't figure out how to do it.  I'm trying not to lose my focus in the process which I think is what keeps getting me.  I feel like my lead is similar to the title of this blog, where people read it and just go, "Huh?".  After I read the chapter, I had a better grip on how to write a decent lead, but I still couldn't decide if I should use one story, or the both of them since they are in fact connected.

To see what my classmates have to say click here!

2 Comments

Kaitlin Monier said:

I agree, it was difficult writing a lead for the accident report which included two stories at once. I wanted to included both stories and all of the information for both of them. It is difficult to cut one of them from the lead since they make up the larger story. Maybe it would be better to use one as the lead and including the other story very early in the story.

Jessie Krehlik said:

I had a hard time with that too. I think I ended up including both the pedestrian accident and the stolen package in my accident report, but I do remember thinking that my lead seemed REALLY wordy. It's probably possible to just name one of the facts in the lead and then just follow the other one up in a later paragraph, but then again, I feel like the information is so important that I can't just not include it. Leads are really tough, and although this chapter did help, I'm still struggling...

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