Good luck to all graduating SHU seniors
I wish you all the best of luck.
May 4, 2007
April 26, 2007
Bring on the pain
You know, it surprises me sometimes how much we act like children throwing tantrums.
"If God's so perfect, why doesn't He make the world a perfect place? Why does He let people all over the world suffer needlessly?"
"Why does God continue to let me suffer? I've tried praying, it doesn't help. If He loves me, why won't He help me?"
These are all questions I've been asked more than once by friends who question my faith or the faith their families have tried to pass onto them.
Of course, they don't want the same tired old excuses: "God works in mysterious ways"; "God's just testing us"; "It's all part of God's plan". So over the years, I've struggled to find a better answer.
"The truth is," I tell my friend, "God's just doing what any good parent would do."
"He knows that if He always gave you what you wanted, you wouldn't appreciate it. You'd just expect it to be there, like the air that you breathe, and you wouldn't think it was anything special."
"Think about it. When you were a kid, whenever you wanted something really bad--like a toy you desperately wanted for Christmas--your parents made you wait for it, right? If they got in the habit of buying it and giving it to you as soon as you wanted it, then eventually it just wouldn't feel the same. Getting that thing you wanted just wouldn't be quite as magical. If you never knew disappointment, how could you ever truly appreciate satisfaction?"
"Well," says my friend, "What about the people who are starving, like those people in Africa? Why doesn't God help them? They don't want toys, they'd be happy just to have something to eat."
The question becomes more complicated at this point. But the answer remains relatively simple.
"True," I say, "But if God suddenly cast food to them from the sky like rain, then what would happen? People everywhere would call it a miracle, and then every time people were suffering like that, anywhere in the world, they'd expect another miracle to solve the problem. If God kept granting such miracles, eventually, they wouldn't be miracles anymore. People would become lazy and depend upon God to solve all their problems for them. They'd lose their will to live for themselves, and become so complacent that they'd just drift through life waiting for the end without doing anything. Sometimes, the best of intentions can lead to the worst of consequences. God knows that."
"God hasn't abandoned them. He's shown the world that they are suffering, and given us the means to stop it. It's our own fault if we choose not to walk the path laid before us and help them. Lots of people have answered that call. And lots of people haven't. It's our choice."
"Again, God's acting like a good parent. He's giving us the opportunity to live our own lives. What kind of parent would He be if He forced us to do whatever He wanted us to do all the time?"
My friend falls silent. Then, with a sigh, says "Life's not fair."
I look at my friend and say, "Thank God for that. If it was, we'd probably all be damned."
March 29, 2007
One good quest deserves another
It's been far too long since I've come home to my cozy little corner of the online community.
But rather than babble too much about all that's happened since my departure, I think I'll just get straight to the good stuff.
I've been hunkering down in my little home office here more often than ever recently, all because I'm on a quest. No, I'm not crossing swords with evildoers or standing defiant before a salivating dragon while searching for some sacred bauble (well, not unless you count the occasional bouts in Bethesda's Oblivion).
I'm penning my way through forms and applications and standing defiant before an open mailbox about once a week until I gather the courage to thrust my hopes and dreams within. I've walked through a swamp of booths and flyers and pamphlets that taunt me with visions of the future, and I've negotiated terms of trade with numerous officials on unfamiliar territory.
I am meeting new allies. I am venturing beyond old borders. I am searching for an internship.
At first, it seemed almost hopeless. There were too many paths laid out before me, and they all traveled in different directions. I knew I would never find an internship experience of value if I chose only one. So, I did what college students do best: I split into about ten copies of myself so I could devote myself to at least twice that many daunting tasks. When one round was finished, I started another, and I haven't stopped since I began.
Little by little, I've mapped out the lands I never knew, the places all those different paths took me to. Soon, I think I may at last find the treasure I have been searching for over these past several months.
I'm getting close. I can feel it in my gut. Be it instinct or intuition, I know that I'm headed in the right direction.
I just hope that when I finally reach my destination, I'll remember to take the time to soak in every drop of the experience, because for any real adventurer, the end of one quest is always the start of another.
October 21, 2006
Giggles, Pearls, and Contemplation
This entry will be in progress for a while. I decided to draw out some of my favorite poetry snippets from recent readings. There's no shame in indulgence, I tell you.
August 21, 2006
Thinking
I'm buried in books, with a drawing pad handy, yet I can't seem to stop thinking, so...
Feels like summer went by fast this time. I'm glad though, because, to be honest, I'm really bored here at home. I've been polishing some of my skills, but I feel ready to tackle some heavy workloads. I know SHU will provide.
I met some friends where I picked up a new job earlier this year, and I've started to appreciate the whole "hanging out" thing a lot more than I used to. I have a habit of getting lonely very easily, credit belonging to my typically unstable and problematic social life.
I'm really happy, because I have people to go to, depend on, and I'm pretty sure that I won't drive them off with my incessant worrying. (They're incredibly stubborn, thankfully.) They're some cool folks, and they've been spending all summer trying to teach me to have more confidence in myself. I guess it's worked, to some extent; I actually feel comfortable talking to strangers, most times, now. Heck, in the past, I've always been the one who shies away and hides from company until someone drags me out to meet them, (mentally) kicking and screaming.
Anyways, how has everyone else been doing? I've tried to keep in touch with a few people this summer, but I'm horrible at it. I'm really sorry, to those that applies to... but I promise to make it up to you just as soon as I can.
I really think I wouldn't have kept my sanity this summer if it wasn't for drawing. I've been doing a lot of manga-style drawings, lately, trying to come up with my own comic. One of my many little projects... Maybe I'll post up some of my stuff here, if I remember. I don't know why, but drawing while listening to classical music really calms me. It's a feeling of freedom akin to that I feel while skating. Fluid motion, an attempt at cohesive grace. Sometimes it works, sometimes... Well, you can imagine.
You know, I've been thinking a lot about everything that happened last year. It was a real whirlwind, and it all seems like a blur to me now. (Not surprising, considering how varied the events of those months became.) I know that I made a lot of mistakes. Well, not the everyday little ones, I mean the bigger ones, the ones that affect others besides myself... and, well, I guess I want to apologize for them. But there are so many people to apologize to, I don't think I could ever do it all by voice, so...
I dunno, I don't really mind the way things turned out for me in the end. What I want to apologize for are the things that happened along the way, you know? I mean, in the end, I think everything turned out as it should, but... There were better ways to steer my life in that direction, and I didn't realize it back then. So... sorry, to those of you who'd like to hear it.
But enough of that. Right now, I'm stuck with insomnia. (Worst part is, I have a shift at work tomorrow.) But I think my strange work schedule this summer is actually pretty good for me, because it's kept me prepared for the wacky school schedule I have this semester. Classes straight through from 9-5 on Mondays and Wednesdays! I don't even have time to eat lunch... (sigh). Ah well, at least the other days of the week should be pretty easy. : )
Vacation this summer was okay. I went to the Mall of America with my family, and that was sorta fun, but it wasn't as impressive a place as I imagined. Almost entirely consists of clothing stores, and I hate shopping for clothes, hehe. We also went to Valley Fair, an amusement park out in Minnesota, and that was awesome. Let's see, what else... ah, right, I went out with my family again today, out to Altoona. (Coincidently, I was born in Altoona. Real quiet, sleepy place. Like me for the past 20 years, haha.)
I was watching my two younger sisters ride some rides at a park today, and boy, have they grown up fast. I can't believe how mature they've become. Sometimes, it feels like they've even passed me up, hehe. (Of course, I perpetually cling to my childhood, so that's probably not saying much. : P) I was doing some reading lately, a story about a guy my age who suddenly finds out he has twelve sisters he never knew about; at first, I thought it sounded like a nightmare (and the guy in the story felt the same), but as the story went on, we both started to realize how lucky we are to have sisters who cherish us. (I'm talking like he's one of my real pals... Hehe, I do that a lot when it comes to characters from movies and books. I'm a hopeless fantasy fanatic.)
Well, uh, it's getting late... I still don't feel very sleepy, but I guess I'll go lie down and see if some gentle music can convince my eyes to shut.
I really hope everyone has had a great summer. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone again soon. Take care, until then, and soak up every precious moment of these last few days. I know I will.
(Oh, by the way, I'm off from work most of this week, so I might be killing some time at SHU the next few days... Still need books... Uh, anyways, maybe I'll see some of you early. If anyone is dying for company, let me know, hehe. Later!)
(I just now noticed that MT is acting up, and my blog seems to have chosen "Leon" as my new username... How it got my AIM SN, I don't know. It screwed up some of my style choices, too. Gah. Anyways, I'll try to figure it out and fix it soon.)
August 8, 2005
Writing Reflection: Soul Fusion, Chapters 3-8
That's right, I'm still plugging away, writing my novel. I'm so relieved that I haven't given up yet -- it bodes well for the rest of the project. I ran into a bit of writer's block a few days ago, but I managed to overcome it with patience and diligence.
This time, I'm pleased to announce that I've reached two big milestones: first, I completed the rough drafts for chapters 3 through 8, and second, I chose a title.
The title, as you might have already guessed from the title of the entry, is Soul Fusion. I really wasn't even trying to think of a title when I came up with it -- I was just trying to describe one of the major concepts from the story in words. It works brilliantly, I think, because it perfectly captures the idea behind the plot and even symbolizes many things from within the story that I have written thus far. It might change as my writing progresses, but for now, it's satisfactory. It's kind of nice to open up the file for the novel and see "SOUL FUSION" across the top instead of "NOVEL #1" or "-Title-" (the original placheholder titles that I came up with).
As for the second milestone of the experience: I'm finding that I am typically able to maintain "optimum writing efficiency" (which shall henceforth be known as OWE in future reflections) for a length of about half a chapter each day. It varies on some days, especially days when I have to go to work, but not always in a bad way -- there was one day about a week ago when I wrote 10 full pages in one long stretch of writing. On the days when I had writer's block, I was lucky if I came up with two good sentences.
In any case, I've made significant progress since my last reflection, and I'm sure I can continue to do so as long as I continue to make my own writing experience a fun one. I still do the acting and the concept art, and I reward myself when I reach my half-a-chapter goal on any given day with an extra bowl of ice cream or some other similarly sweet treat.
Oh, and I suppose I can reveal some more detailed information about the story itself this time.
One of the most exciting changes since my last reflection was the invention of a new symbol which stands for a special relationship between the three major different types of magical talent that I have invented (oh yeah, guess I forgot to mention that this was a fantasy novel). It's an incomplete triangle, with a flat edge on the bottom and two arrows pointing up towards the top point on the other two sides, like so:
Soul Fusion Insignia ••• Artwork | Christopher Ulicne
(Pardon the drawing; it's rather sketchy because I just whipped it up right now at a moment's notice.)
This symbol, along with plenty of other things embedded within the novel, will add up to a sum of enormous religious significance when my writing is complete; or at least, that's what I hope. When I first set out to write this novel, I made up my mind that I would try to pack it full of those sorts of things college students so often seek out in works of literature, so that literary critics would be hard-pressed to label it as mere "escapist" literature (a term so often thrown at works in the fantasy genre).
On a slightly humorous note, I've started to equate some of the characters in the story with real people that I know; I've heard of writers being influenced to create characters a lot like people they have met in real life, so I suppose it shouldn't come as a surprise. As I was once so wisely informed, however, it is best not to reveal who inspired which characters in a book of my making, just in case those characters display some bad characteristics that would have their real-life counterparts in a frenzy and at my throat.
Perhaps one of the most meaningful personal components of the novel from my perspective is the inclusion of a character from my own nightmares. This creature, I took straight out of some of my worst dreams, and she comes through with all of the qualities that I first imagined her with. It's actually a little frightening to revisit memories of those fragmented sleepy horrors, but the character fits so perfectly into the story that I couldn't possibly have considered leaving her out. I would describe her more fully, but I don't want to ruin the surprise, just in case I manage to get this thing published.
Oh, and one important thing that I have realized while writing: I adore dialogue. That's strange, too, considering that I often have too little of it in my works; but in this instance, it acts as an integral part of the plot and ambience. I'm starting to think there's no better way to "show" rather than "tell" about characters than through their dialogue. The personality that can be packed into their words, when they are written with care, is simply stunning.
Anyways, that's enough reflection for now. I'll keep updating here with more stuff inspired by Soul Fusion as I delve deeper into my project.
August 2, 2005
Writing Reflection: Soul Fusion, Chapters 1-2
A couple of weeks ago, I made an important commitment to myself: I started writing my first full-length novel.
I've tried doing it before, but I usually end up getting frustrated due to my own perfectionism -- I tend to write and then rewrite over and over again until everything I've done meets my complete satisfaction. Eventually, boredom sets in as my focus narrows to the littlest details, and the frustration starts to flare out of control as I realize that I've only made about a page or two of progress each day.
This time, though, things are a little different. I got an extensive, detailed book that's meant to help writers keep themselves motivated, and eventually even get their works published. It has helped tremendously, and I'm finding the writing experience to be a much more rewarding one this time around. Sure, I still get annoyed with it sometimes, but now I'm either using strategies from the book or my own personal ones in order to ensure that I don't just give up like I have in the past.
I've found that one of the most helpful strategies is to create a special place in my home that is meant solely for the purpose of writing, and then go to that place each day when I'm ready to begin (this one I picked up from the book). I've equipped it with a dictionary, thesaurus, computer, electronic encylopedia, the book I just mentioned, and plenty of other helpful tools -- even some drawing pads, in case I get the itch to doodle or to try to draw some concept art. Oh, and of course, it has a stereo at the ready, with plenty of soothing music that helps me relax without interfering with my concentration. If you're a writer, and you're having trouble focusing, I definitely suggest trying this out for yourself, if you haven't already. It's a real treat -- like your own little corner of the world. The best part is, if you choose the place wisely, you can leave all of your writing stuff right where it is when you're ready for a break, and you'll be ready to pick up right where you left off when you come back.
Another one of the most helpful strategies I've discovered is to try rewriting the last paragraph I wrote each time I sit down to start writing again. This helps me get back into the rhythm and flow of my ideas, and usually reminds me of what I wanted to write about next. This one, especially, is a good one to try if you're having trouble continuing your writing from one day to the next.
Moving on, to my actual writing...
It's hard to describe the feelings I get while I'm working. Sometimes, things are running so smoothly that I can write for two hours straight without lifting my fingers from the keyboard; it's like I'm not writing new stuff at all, but rather, talking about something that happened to me personally, as if it happened yesterday. Other times, writing even one paragraph is like trying to pull my own teeth. When that happens, I usually take a break, but there have been a few occasions when I've trudged onward, pushing myself to try harder and not give up until I feel I've made some real progress. Sometimes, that decision is rewarding, and leads to some great, stress-relieving breakthroughs; other times, it just leads to misery. That's okay, though; I'm learning, and I'm steadily approaching my goal, at my own pace.
As for the story itself -- I've completed the rough drafts of the first two chapters, and I'm on my way to completing the rough draft of the third.
It was extremely slow going in the beginning, mostly because I couldn't decide how to open the story up; I completely rewrote the first chapter at least four or five times. Then, one afternoon, just before lunch, it hit me -- I knew exactly what needed to happen to speed up the pace of the plot, how to introduce the main character, and how to describe the initial setting. I typed for around 2 1/2 hours, and when I finally took a break, I read through what I had written. It wasn't perfect -- I fully intend to continue to revise every chapter that I write, even as I go further into the novel -- but it was a good enough foundation to build upon for the next chapter.
Since then, I've continued to revise and rewrite sections of the first and second chapters; I reread them every time I sit down to start writing, and make a few minor adjustments here or there. Then, I press on, jumping forward to the place where I had last stopped writing -- usually with a refreshed sense of how to connect what I am going to write with what I have already written. Obviously, I can't keep this up for the entire length of the novel -- but nonetheless, it's helping out a lot right now.
I can't begin to describe how excited I am about this story -- forget all the technical stuff. I've been formulating ideas for it for over a year now, doing some drawings and making lists and descriptions of characters, settings, and other plot elements.
I've even been acting out some portions of the novel, by myself, in order to get a feel for how a realistic character should really move, act, react, and look in different situations (I feel like a movie stuntman sometimes, because the story involves swordfighting and some light acrobatics -- I mess around with stuff I find around the house, too, in order to create special effects or sounds, so I can describe them better in the book). I've been thinking about possibly asking someone else I trust to help me out with a few of the acting or effects bits, but I'm not sure yet; I tend to get shy around others too quickly.
Perhaps most importantly, I've kept my eyes and ears open whenever I'm not writing, for things that could spark more ideas -- the appearances or demeanor of people I see in public, names on billboards and in magazines, etc. I have always been an observant person, and that skill is certainly finding plenty of use now.
Oh, and I am NEVER bored now. Every moment that I don't spend doing something else is a moment I spend thinking about how the ideas are all interrelated and interconnected. For instance, the main character has a special kind of magic power that enables him to "collect things" (trying not to spoil a surprise from the book, here). I've spent hours deliberating on how powerful it should be, how it could relate to the magical talents of other characters in the story, how other characters should feel about his talent (it raises some important moral questions), how he himself should feel about it, how he might use it for his own purposes, how he might use it to help others, how he might cause horrible accidents with it, whether he should try to hide it from other people, how it might be the key to solving the biggest conflict in the book (and at the same time, require a sacrifice that he might not be willing to make), etc. I really wish I could be more specific, but I'd like to keep it all a secret until I'm sure how certain things will work out.
I would love to reveal some specific information about the plot, too, but I'm a little wary about posting ideas that will probably shift and change as I continue to write, so I think I'll hold off on that, too, until I get closer to my goal. I think I might take a break from the novel long enough to write a short story that explains some of the finer points, and if I do, I'll be sure to post it here.
Thank God for the inspiration -- I don't think I've ever been this excited about anything in my life. I only hope I continue to meet with success.
July 31, 2005
Maybe I'll move
I hate to shop for clothes, so it stands to reason that I hate back-to-school shopping.
My mom has already rallied the family together to go on three such excursions. I made up excuses, and managed to worm my way out of the first two; unfortunately, I wasn't so lucky today.
For 5 hours straight, I had shirts, pants, shorts, socks, and shoes of every shape, size, color, and style thrust before my face, and each garment was invariably followed by the same mind-numbing question: "Do you like this?"
To which I stubbornly gave one of three answers:
1. "It's okay."
2. "Uh...(Oh God)."
or, my personal favorite,
3. "I'm NOT wearing pink."
Despite the combined shopping prowess of my mom, grandma, and two sisters, I'd say about 50% of the clothes they picked out got answer #2 and about 25% got answer #3.
The other 25% got answer #1, and only about half of those made the final cut. Judging from these fairly accurate statistics, you'd think that I'm really picky about what I wear... When in fact, I'd prefer to wear nothing at all.
See, I guess the reason why I hate shopping for clothes so much is that I just plain don't like 'em. I think practically all clothes look the same: weird, awkward, and uncomfortable. Admittedly, every now and then, I find something really cool that I don't mind wearing; but, alas, such finds are fleeting, and unfortunately I can't wear them more than one day in a row -- or can I? Just kidding.
Shopping for clothes is one of those experiences that wears on my patience, like slow, painful torture, until I'm ready to do just about anything short of killing myself to make it stop. I feel sorry for my family, having to put up with my stubborn ways, but... I just can't bring myself to find any joy in the activity.
Well, anyways, the same thing ends up happening every year: I get so sick of clothes that I finally start saying I like things (even if I hate 'em), just so we can move on and get out of the store as quickly as possible. Then, months later, my mom starts complaining when she finds out that about half of my clothes still have tags on them. This year was no exception -- however, over the years, I've realized the trend I have just described, and I've started giving in earlier and earlier, just to save myself from unneccessary torment.
Sigh. I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll move to a nudist colony.
July 28, 2005
A flat lesson
As I was pulling out of the parking lot to go home from work today, my manager, John, ran out towards my car, flagging me down by waving his arms wildly in the air.
I thought I might be in some sort of trouble; it turns out that I was, but not quite the kind of trouble that I had in mind.
My car's left rear wheel was flat and practically ready to blow out on me.
I backed up, and parked again, frustrated. I had no idea how to change a tire, and I needed to get home in order to look after my sisters. Unfortunately, home was several miles away, and I knew I wouldn't be able to get a ride from either of my parents at that time of day. It was looking like I might have to walk -- which is really dangerous, considering that I have to practically walk right on Route 30 in order to reach my house from work. I've done it before, but only in times of dire need, because I really don't like having to share a road with oncoming traffic (see, there are some places where there is no sidewalk or alternative route to take).
My boss, being the nice and genuine fellow that he is, though, simply wouldn't have it. He put all of his work in the restaurant on hold and gave me a hands-on lesson in changing a tire, even explaining some little things that make it safer and easier to do. Under his direction, I had my car's little donut wheel on in no time, and I was on my way -- possibly saved from either of two life-threatening situations: walking Route 30, or driving on a bad tire.
Anyways, I just wanted to give him some kind of proper recognition for his help. I guess I could have been overreacting, but some aspects of cars and driving really make me nervous; this was no exception. I'm truly thankful that I have people like him to watch out for me.
June 29, 2005
My little helper
While I was working tonight, I had the unfortunate task of disposing of all of the garbage from the various trash cans littered about the restaurant (McDonald's).
Normally, that job is boring and takes forever -- it gives me plenty of time to start feeling like I'm on the lowest rung of the employed-persons ladder. I drag a big, smelly, blue bin around on wheels, and throw huge, even smellier trash bags into it; not exactly career-material labor.
Tonight, my menial task was interrupted rather suddenly when a young boy (I'd say about 4-5 years old) skipped over to me in the playplace (you know, that area with the wacky tubes and such). He promptly greeted me kindly, and asked me what I was doing. I explained the job, expecting him to lose interest and dash off when I finished; instead, he walked right on over and tried to hold a door for me, when he saw me struggling to fit the bin through it while holding it open by myself.
I was surprised, and more than a little heartwarmed by his attempt to help; it was cute. After I thanked him and took a load of garbage to the back of the store and returned for more, I found that he was waiting for me at the door. He started to tell me about his trip to Kennywood with "mommy" earlier that day, then took a moment to ask me if I needed more help; after I assured him that I would be fine, and thanking him again, he continued, and went on to tell me that he was waiting for "mommy" to bring back some ice cream for him. For those of you that don't know, I absolutely LOVE ice cream -- so that was one feeling that I could relate to, at least in some small way. He kept on chattering for a few more minutes, following me from trash can to trash can as I went about my business, until at last his mother returned and I left to finish collecting garbage elsewhere.
Anyways, the point is, this encounter really made my day brighter, something I desperately needed; it got me thinking, too. Though my job is not exactly one that I would ever want to stick with for the rest of my life, and I get paid very little money, it still has its high points -- and I get paid in little ways that others don't. I tend to complain about my job sometimes, but when it comes right down to it, it has given me some memories that are worth much more than the money I would have made at a higher-paying job by now.
It's been a rough week for me, and I've been feeling pretty worthless; but this incident really made me feel human again. It was reassuring, to know that I could connect with a kind soul, even if it was only for a few minutes.
So wherever you are, my little helper, thanks again for lifting my spirits, making me realize how the most humble jobs can be the most rewarding, and sharing my passion for cold treats. You reminded me that sometimes the biggest help comes from the smallest people.
June 22, 2005
Thriller
One scared lil' girl and her bro prepare for the ride of a lifetime. ••• Photo | Mom
June 21, 2005
Summer Vacation #1 - Ohio
I just got back from my first summer vacation trip -- a trip to Ohio with my family. Officially, the reason that we went was to attend a soccer tournament that my youngest sister participated in; however, the real main attraction was Cedar Point. It was voted "the best theme park on the planet" for the past several years, and it has won numerous other awards and recognitions.
I got to ride the "tallest and fastest" roller coaster in the world -- the Top Thrill Dragster -- which spiraled 420 ft. into the air and reached a speed of 120 mph. My dad was a coward and refused to board with me, so he sent my youngest sister on with me, instead. It was definitely one of the best coasters I've ever been on, and the thrills didn't end there. Cedar Point boasts 15 other roller coasters, too; I didn't ride all of them, but pretty close.
As with all of our previous family trips, there were plenty of memorable experiences...
• We ate at a TGI Friday's restaurant (for free, no less) just outside of the park, on the beach, where we met my "twin brother," our waiter. He looked, sounded, and acted incredibly similar to me -- though he was a bit taller. I didn't think it was so funny, because he was actually a really absentminded waiter... But my sisters thought it was hilarious.
• In one of our hotel rooms, the shower/bath was actually a jacuzzi, with openings and curtains on two sides -- one of which opened up to a hole in the wall that allowed one to overlook the rest of the room. Nothing like a bathing exhibition, I suppose. Something tells me we got a honeymoon suite by mistake...
• At the soccer tournament, I tried an energy drink for the first time in my life: Mountain Dew's "Amp." Although it tasted terrible, it certainly delivered -- I was so hyper I started rocking on an air guitar on the sidelines, and I nearly broke my ankle doing a little jig.
• While taking a break, we took a walk on a gorgeous beach -- and saw tons of dead, rotting fish. My sisters are real animal lovers, so they were completely horri-mortified.
• After returning home, we wrapped up our trip with a viewing of Madagascar. On the whole, I thought it was kinda stupid, but the penguin mafia gang in the movie was awesome.
June 11, 2005
Overwhelmatization
Hey there. First, I'd like to make a few administrative announcements, and then I'll let you know how it's going here in my little slice of life.
I apologize for my recent absence, but I have been overwhelmed with summer stuff for the past month or so. Anyways, I'm going to try to make a comeback and update more regularly, now.
If it is of any interest to you, I've decided to push my "Quotes of the Day" back to once-a-week postings... Appropriately titled, "Quotes of the Week." I may post just one quote each time, or more than one; however many I write down throughout that week. I'm going to keep the old Quotes of the Day just as they are, to preserve the work I've already put into the endeavor.
There, that's out of the way. Now, onto more personal matters.
I've been really busy working a lot of extra hours and trying to keep my head above the costly waters of the season; I'm getting about 40 hours a week now, at ol' McDonald's, but it's still not quite cutting it yet. I got a raise just the other day, so hopefully my wallet will start to regain some of its lost dignity in the next few weeks.
Sigh.
I really crammed a lot of energy and effort into the last few weeks of my most recent semester at Seton Hill, so when summer finally arrived, I crashed -- big time. Unless I have work early in the morning, I've slept in until at least 1 or 2 PM everyday to catch up on lost sleep. I suppose I should feel guilty, for letting other areas of my life/work suffer, but honestly, I don't. I love it, and I need it -- all of this rest, that is -- because my next year of college is going to be about twice the challenge of this year.
Aside from work, I've had some minor family issues to work out, and most of them have worked out well thus far. It's amazing, how much of a stress college can be, not only on the students, but on the students' friends and family, as well (I'm sure it's a stress on professors and their friends/family, too). All the time we spend on homework and in classes is time we don't spend with them, which is a rough toll when they're used to having us (college kids) around more often.
All things considered, my summer is going great. Drop me a line, and let me know how you're doing, alrighty?
April 5, 2005
My journey
I'm amazed sometimes by how difficult it is to take one single step.
I'm not talking about being unable to move due to physical injury; I mean pressing onward past fear, uncertainty, regret, or hardship, or any other of a number of intangible barriers.
I remember times throughout my life when I have been afraid to take a step outside of something. Stepping outside of my room, outside of the group, outside of the line, outside of what I knew and what I trusted, outside of my world.
Then, somewhere, while I was walking along this winding road of life, I tripped (like most of us do), and I stumbled right into reality as an individual. I stepped out of who I was, and into who I was to become.
I only think of this now, because I'm currently going through a rather ironic experience; instead of trying to step out of things, I'm trying to step into them. My whole life, I wanted to escape constraints, problems, and everything else that tried to hold me to one spot; today, however, and everyday, I find myself going to rather than from things. I'm trying to step into organizations, into other cultures, into risks, into other peoples' lives, into responsibility, into changes and experiences of all sorts, into the terrifying future that looms ahead. All of the things that I used to run away from, are now the very same things that I deliberately work towards and try to keep.
At first, it didn't seem to make sense to me. I mean, why would I ever want to force myself to enter into situations and conflicts that are mostly beyond my control and have the potential to ruin everything that I've worked so hard to create?
I think that I am starting to understand, though. I can't describe it, but there is a pull, a magnetism that draws me towards some distant point ahead, some place or person or idea that I cannot see. Destiny, I suppose you could call it.
I guess I do things precisely because they are part of a plan much greater than my own. I don't need to know where I will end up, or what it will be like when I get there; all I need to know is how to get there. What direction do I take? Where do I go, or what do I next? Where must my next step take me?
What will happen when I take the next step?
Only time will tell.
Can't take the heat
Much to my dismay, it seems that the warm weather of spring (and eventually summer) have finally started to creep back into the world.
I stepped outside today, outfitted in one of my favorite ensembles: jeans, long-sleeved shirt, and heavy leather jacket, expecting the same frigid conditions we had here yesterday; of course, as one can tell from a quick glance out the nearest window, it's "beautiful" out there.
I felt horribly uncomfortable the moment I walked out the door, and after thinking on it, I realized how much I really do hate hot weather. It's not just because I was dressed warmly; I generally despise being too warm, in general. It seems like most people I know love summer, the beach, and plenty o' sunshine; however, I much prefer wintry snow, ice, and rain. I'm really hoping for the bizarre weather patterns to continue this season (Christmas in July would be nice).
So, if you happen to see me sometime in the next few months, and I look like I have a constant fever, it's nothing serious; I'm simply trying to deal with one of my mortal enemies.
March 27, 2005
NYC Family Trip
Yeah, that's right... I went to NYC all over again with my family only about a week after the SHU trip.
Though the experience wasn't quite the same, it was still fun. Here are a few pics... There are more, but for the sake of my family's privacy I've excluded a lot of 'em.
March 21, 2005
NYC: A taste of the Big Apple
Here are some memorable picture moments from the Seton Hill University trip to NYC (March 18-20).
[I'll add more details later... I have a class now, and some homework to finish after that.]
March 6, 2005
Eat my hat!
[rant]
I recently went to dinner with my family and ate at a sports lounge called Dino's. Now, they claim to have "[a] Relaxed atmosphere, Great food, friendly staff,
and a variety of sports programming [which] make you[r] meal incredible" (note the public abuse of grammar, hurrah); however, from my experience, they didn't quite live up to those expectations in the proper proportion.
November 2, 2004
Vroom, Vroom, Vote
I finally got around to voting for the first time in my life tonight around 5:00 PM.
September 20, 2000
My Schedule
This entry is meant for the sole purpose of providing me with easy access to an organized schedule and reminders of important matters.