Back that sentence up!

| 4 Comments

"When, after, as and similar cruthces often prolong sentences needlessly:

  • "The company will not issue a general recall in its home country after a preliminary ruling by Health Ministry officials that it poses no public danger, Levin said."
Why not simply:
  • "The company will not issue a general recall in its home country. A preliminary ruling by Health Ministry officials found no danger to the public, Levin said" (Cappon 40).

Just as Dr. Jerz said, "Conserve Words!" I think that the above sentences show us how to make a long sentence a shorter and more descriptive comment. Instead of simply writing a long drawn out sentence that no one wants to read, try and make it two or three smaller sentences so the reader does not get bored and especially you.

Just think about how you write on facebook to your friends. Do you write long sentences with a lot of description or do you simply write short phrases, sometimes txt speak, in order to get your point across. I bet you write short phrases without me even knowing. Try to practice your short phrase writing, like Facebook and Twitter, in your news articles because it will make the reader enjoy the reading instead of feeling like they are reading a novel.

Click here for the course web page devoted to Cappon, Ch. 4.

4 Comments

I feel that I really benefited from this chapter. As an English Lit. major, I tend to use long sentences as a crutch. This chapter showed some ways to get around that, and a lot of reasons why writing that way is a bad idea.

I actually don't speak text speak. When I text anyone, I have a hard time abbreviating words like saying goin instead of going. Even if I manage to pull off saying goin, I have to tell myself to not put an apostrophe after the n. I may pick on Dr. Jerz for being a geek but I'm just as bad. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'm the resident geek on the soccer team here.

Angela - I feel the same way. I hate when people send me txt messages with b rt bk (be right back) or something comparable. I am exectly like you because I have to spell almost everything out or I don't feel comfortable sending it. Sometimes, I get txt messages with words or phrases that I don't even understand!

Text speak is tricky because you don't want to let it sink into your papers or actual articles, but it is really helpful for taking notes during a lecture. The abbreviation helps me get all the important information.

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This page contains a single entry by Derek Tickle published on September 14, 2009 3:11 PM.

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