Give me a break (Referring to the mistakes in the example)

| 4 Comments

After reading the example that Dr. Jerz posted on our News Writing website, I thought that I am doing pretty good on my articles.

Listed below is the example and my explanation:

Assistant News Editor, Anne O'Nymous read the article.

  • Is this really necessary? Would you agree that we could have put this at the bottom or as a closer?
She was highly appreciated by Jameson for solving the problem. "I really appreciate her work ethic and problem-solving ability," said Jameson.
  • I think we could have left the first part out and started with the quote.
Spunky Inkworthy has only written for The Setonian this year, but Obituaries Editor, Lazarus O'Mortigan, was very complimentary towards Spunky's contributions.
  • Who is stating this? Is the editor telling us this? And also how is "obituaries" spelled? Obituaries? Obituarie's? or Obituary?
In a telephone call from Head Librarian Marian Paroo, she discussed Inkworthy's contributions.
  • I don't think we need to say "In a telephone call." I would have said, "Marian Paroo, Head Librarian, discussed Inkworthy's contributions in a telephone call."
"Here is a quote", said Bill Jones freshman.
  • Bill Jones, freshman (where? What school?), said "Here is a quote."

4 Comments

You made some good revisions Derek. I found it interesting as I looked at everyone else's revisions how we are pretty uniform when it comes to what we can and cannot use in a sentence, but we all have different opinions of how to rearrange the sentences' wording. For most of them I don't think there is really a right or wrong answer to how the sentence should be worded, but I think we all have different preferences to how we think a sentence should be written and "heard" when read aloud.

I really like your post. Do you like AP style or find it difficult? I am jst being introduced to it this semester. I agree Katie with your comment I think that it really is a preference. Things to soun different to each one of us we interpret things differently to a point.

I like AP style because of how it condenses each sentence into the least amount of words possible. AP style wants to get the point across fast and, at the same time, tell the reader the facts.

I like to condense but I like to type a bunch. I agree though AP is a good source for getting the important info i the least amount of words as possible.

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This page contains a single entry by Derek Tickle published on September 12, 2009 11:09 AM.

Reflection #2: Active vs. Passive was the previous entry in this blog.

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