June 23, 2004

Back in Bloody Business!

If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1.) For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2.) Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3.) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason, you would simply accept this.
4.) Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5.) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6.) The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
7.) The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
8.) Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9.) Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10.) You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

My own computer experience lately has been all that and worse. However, if my father and I have managed everything correctly (you go oh-so-helpful-dell, not), I'm back, at least for a bit. After the computer mess I've been tangling out, I'm not looking at this machine for another minute. : D

Posted by Diana Geleskie at 4:41 PM | Comments (5)