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I Hate Turtles!!!

There was a little turtle. He lived in a box.
Poetry Selections -- Jerz: EL150 (Intro to Literary Study)

When I read the two poems about turtles I did not, as most people would, smile with pleasant thougts of cute little turtles in my head. No, when I read those lines about snapping turtles I was merely reminded of all the reasons why I hate turtles. I feel it is my duty to tell you about the darker side of turtles. First of all, make sure you never eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich after playing with your neighbor's pet turtle and forgetting to wash your hands. You could end up with salmonella (and, although you do get some pretty tasty bublegum medicine, I don't recommend the experience at all). Also, beware of turtles when you are fishing. They could suddenly seize the bait on your kiddie sized pole and pull you forward with such a violent force that you stumble direclty into the muddy lake. Ok, so maybe I'm a little biased here, but I think people need to know that turtles are germ infested, violent, snapping creatures that thrive on ruining the hapiness of unsuspecting children.

Comments (5)

Kayla:

I too think turtles are one of the ugliest and disgusting animals on the planet and thought your blog was excellent. These poems just brought back my hatred of them, just as you amusingly explained.

EllenEinsporn:

Yay! I thought I would be a loner on this one. Most people think turtles are so cute...but we know better, Kayla.

Anonymous:

morons

Turtle:

Your just jealous that a turtle has a better looking face than you. (:

micki:

I HATE TURTLES! they are sooo scary and should be kicked off earth! you are 100% correct on everything you said.

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