EllenEinsporn

When I read the two poems about turtles I did not, as most people would, smile with pleasant thougts of cute little turtles in my head. No, when I read those lines about snapping turtles I was merely reminded of all the reasons why I hate turtles. I feel it is my duty to tell you about the darker side of turtles. First of all, make sure you never eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich after playing with your neighbor's pet turtle and forgetting to wash your hands. You could end up with salmonella (and, although you do get some pretty tasty bublegum medicine, I don't recommend the experience at all). Also, beware of turtles when you are fishing. They could suddenly seize the bait on your kiddie sized pole and pull you forward with such a violent force that you stumble direclty into the muddy lake. Ok, so maybe I'm a little biased here, but I think people need to know that turtles are germ infested, violent, snapping creatures that thrive on ruining the hapiness of unsuspecting children.