February 22, 2007

WildCard: A Blog of Self-Doubt and Self-Confidence

Basically I do not write many personal weblog entries, but there is something that I would like to get off of my chest. I know that I come off confident, sometimes a little headstrong, but the truth is that I am worried about going into the Education field. I know that is what I want to do for a long time, but I can not help having some doubts on my ability to control a classroom of 27 students, some of which could careless about English. My personal view on Education is one that says "Everyone has potential." At the same time, I know that I need to be prepared for the student that is not willing to learn, and not willing to grow. I can not accept failure (and all of you know that), and my fear is that if a student fails, then I fail, because I could not do enough to help that student make a difference in his own life.

I know that is supposed to be the attitude, but just like tennis, I take losing very hard. I am not a poor sport, or have bad sportsmanship, believe me, I am one of the nicest guys on the tennis court. But when I get home, I take losing and failure to heart (any of you who know April Beere can ask her how rough I take a loss). English is a very complicated subject, and I am supposed to be able to make an impact on 100-150 students every single year. Everyone would like to expect a 100% positive turnout, but is that really going to happen? I am going to do everything in my power to make a difference, but the failure will be very tough to take.

I hope that many of us have our doubts, but also have enough confidence in themselves to know they have the preparation, the power, and the capabilities to teach students not only their specialized field, but to teach them life-long lessons and make a difference.

Posted by The Gentle Giant at February 22, 2007 11:25 AM
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