December 09, 2003

Spam and excuses.

I've finally been spammed in my comments field by a certain "Polk Karry" (verbalize those words for added humor). Polk apparently keeps an enlarging website, and is trying to drum up business. He's deleted now.

Anyway, my dad likes Spam meat, and once collected enough Spam points for a free tee-shirt.

In other news, my good friend Liz and I have decided that excuses are useless, and should instead be made fun. Think about it -- do you really believe that person who says they couldn't do something because "something came up?" That they couldn't do their homework because the printer broke? Lame. If no one actually believes these excuses, even if they are true, why not just make up lies for excuses all of the time?

These lies will work as excuses because no one believes excuses anyway! And to think, if they are outrageous lies, they will become more believable because they are just that inventive!

Some examples:

  • "A plane crashed off the coast of Madagascar."
  • "I was stranded on a desert island."
  • "I had an unfortunate run-in with an overhead projector, and now must wear goggles until my wound heals."
  • "The sun didn't come up this morning at my house, and I rely on roosters to wake me."

    Fun, huh? And much, much more inventive than the regular lies.

    Posted by Julie Young at December 9, 2003 11:59 PM
  • Comments

    How about:

    I couldn't finish the website because my WYSIWYG started losing hair.

    I couldn't blog today because MT was empty.

    I couldn't travel because the Paris Hilton stopped admitting travelers.

    I couldn't go to class because the stuffed animal died.

    I couldn't go to school because the police were arresting my neighbor for lewd conduct and I just had to watch.

    I couldn't come into work today because the Texan gangs were fighting with the Mexican gangs and I couldn't tell which side was American, so I hid.

    Posted by: Brian at December 11, 2003 04:24 PM

    How about this one:

    My daughter couldn't complete her English paper on time because a car drove into our kitchen, popping the stove out from the wall and wreaking mass chaos.

    This has the same gist as an excuse my mom actually wrote for me in high school. I kid you not. (And yes, a car really did slam into my kitchen. The insurance company had to pay to have the whole side of the house redone and the kitchen remodeled. It was winter, near the holidays, and part of the house was blocked off with big swaths of plastic sheeting. It reminded me of that scene in the movie E.T. when the government Haz-Mat team comes to abduct the alien. That scene always scared me. But when it was happening at my house, it was kind of cool.)

    Posted by: Jenn at December 12, 2003 03:20 PM

    Why am I not surprised that little bundle of bizarreness happened to you, Jenn? (as I ponder the appropriate use of "that" in this sentence...seems like there should be two, but a double word? Ack!)

    Posted by: Julie at December 14, 2003 07:20 PM

    these excuses are great but i think that u need to come up with ones that people will actually beleive so people can actually use them.

    Posted by: kate at January 13, 2004 10:11 AM

    i didn't come to class today because i forgot where the classroom was.

    Posted by: kate at January 13, 2004 10:13 AM
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