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April 7, 2006
How to Know It's Spring, for Dummies
Just incase anyone hasn't noticed, Mother Nature has gotten her schizophrenic tendencies under control, and what we are now experiencing is known as "spring."
"Spring" is frequently confused with the apparatuses that are known as "slinkies" or the useful metal spiraled cylinders found within a mattress to make it "springy." This is a common misconception and those that have thought this should not be ashamed. For a season that bounces its way into our lives is what "spring" truly is.
When spring begins, there is a lot of evidence. This murder of winter's chills and accumulated precipitation is not well hidden at all. Rather, I think spring is a proud criminal. Here are some ways to tell just what spring does to winter, and the evidence that abounds at the crime scene:
1) Spring is a precocious two year-old when it comes to color schemes. One-upping winter's grays, blues, and sparkling white, spring brings a full palette of hues. Trees cloud the deep horizons with their budding greens, later becoming a full and seemingly impenetrable sheet of green. Blues, violets, pinks, reds, oranges, and yellows litter the ground, popping out of sheaths of green. Explosions like these won't be seen again until Independence Day, so take it in while you can.
2) Precipitation accumulation is so last season. The only kind of collection you'll find in spring is in the puddles. Didn't notice all those potholes till now, huh? Winter is harsh on the blacktop and cracks even the hardest asphalt. Also consider getting yourself a good umbrella or prepare to usher in the "drowned rat" look (again).
3) Worms are all over the sidewalks. After a nice torrential downpour, ruining your picnic or otherwise well-planned spring event, get ready for some new guests! You haven't seen these guys since fall when you heaved hunks of rotting leaves into bags for mulch and compost. This time, they're back in style and with friends. What seems like hundreds of the crawly fellows will emanate from the cement and you'll be stuck in the dark staring down at the "twigs" you're stepping on without snapping. Just keep in mind that they're regenerative and they reproduce asexually.
4) Humidity in the air affects weather, asthmatic breathing, and curly hair. It also makes everything stick together. Things that don't deserve moisture as a birthday present will receive condensation and the humidity will force itself on even the strangest objects in the strangest places. Yes, everything is sticky. Cross your legs? They stick. Your arm grazes a desk top? Somewhat tacky if not altogether disgustingly slimy. That slick wooden banister in the stairwell now feels like someone ran their ice cream cone over it and left it to dry. Nothing to do about this except endure, like the barometer.
5) Shedding also tends to take place during spring. Animals shed their fur for lighter coats, birds will preen, and young women and men all over will dig into their closets for smaller articles of clothing. Skin will be shown. Bare arms, calves, and feet are common. Some fashions are more modest and generally traversable, others run the risk of getting R rating or higher. Time wears on and so does fashion, but as it stands, spring is the test for real trendsetters. Wearing that light jacket in the morning might be a good idea, but when you don't need it in the afternoon, do you want to run the risk of being "uncool" by carrying it around with you or *gasp-flashback to the '80s* tying it around your waist? Dear me, no; you'll likely want to shiver in the morning as dew streams down your legs and soaks your socks and "tough it out."
Take note of these sudden changes and enjoy spring. Surely this guide has brought new life to the season of regeneration and life. Just make sure to pay attention to the weather, above all, to avoid the catastrophe of leaving windows (to a building, car, or otherwise dry location) open incase a rainstorm pops up like a daisy.
Posted by KarissaKilgore at April 7, 2006 1:40 PM
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