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August 8, 2006
Coats of Defeat
Sometimes when I work with code, I get crazy. Not foaming-at-the-mouth crazy, but crazy in the respect that I will not leave the computer until I achieve results that I can allow to stand with my name next to them.
That's what happens when your name is part of the URL of your blog.
I get crazy because I want my page to look like I dream. Occasionally, I get inspired to try something new in the comfort of an undisclosed URL (mwhaha). But I refuse to even let that stay in an unedited state because my name is part of the address... and should someone search for the correct set of terms and discover some hideous page with my name attached? Well, I probably wouldn't know about it unless I checked my StatCounter meticulously, but I might still have nightmares about it.
This afternoon, for instance, I seem to have created a real mess. I won't tell you what I was working on, but I was using my self-taught knowledge of HTML, CSS, MT, and all those other acronyms to build something of a dream. Sure, I try. And valiantly. Not unlike a rookie baseball player who makes his way to the plate a hero and walks back a zero, I managed to create something that resembled the product of a Speak 'n Spell who had a fight with a calculator and then vomited the result of the scuttle on to my screen.
It wasn't pretty.
Neither was my reaction.
I'm working to fix it, but I know sooner or later I just have to stop. I have to walk away from the mess. Sure, I have the original templates I could paste back (that I so cleverly copied and pasted to Word documents before moving the first digit). But I've gotten to the point that re-pasting is like admitting defeat because I will copy what I'd been working on to another Word document and I end up thinking, "I'll probably never work on this document again," and knowing that the statement has an 80% chance of being true...because typically I start from scratch again when I decide to give things another "go."
Another catalyst to complete a project is my laptop's remaining battery charge. It gives me a time limit to work with--a ticking clock whose countdown is unknown to me--because I'd rather sit some place comfortable to work than twisted up at this make-shift desk in my room... Defeat is getting the message on my screen that reminds me I'm using reserve battery power and that if I don't plug in my laptop soon it will shut off.
Like I said: I get crazy when I am working with code sometimes... Defeat wears many coats, and I never know what alphanumeric disaster is going to grace my screen next, but I do enjoy it when I am successful. It takes a lot of mistakes to get that one success, but when I'm looking at the page with my name attached and I adore it? Yeah, it's worth it.
Posted by KarissaKilgore at August 8, 2006 9:03 AM
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Comments
Ha ha! I know exactly how you feel, Karissa! The thing about any type of art (that especially includes the art of web design and cross-browser compatability) is knowing when to quit. I am the exact same way. Nothing is ever good enough (let alone tasteful enough) for my designing imagination.
There are so many perfectly executed applications on the web, so many drool-inducing designs. It's enough to make even the most dashing of artists feel defeated. Don't give up! After a couple years of intense web design, I'm still learning so many things. I'm finding there's always something new to discover.
And if you really feel ambitious about MT and HTML/CSS, you are more than welcome to contribute to the Setonian redesign ;)
Posted by: Evan at August 9, 2006 2:53 PM
Way back when you started to change the colors on my blog, I knew you were hooked.
HTML is fine in small doses, but it takes special people with extreme patience (usually not me) to take on the coding quandaries. I admire your efforts, especially with my blog, Karissa, and Evan you aren't doing so bad yourself with the Setonian Online, either.
Drive yourselves nuts; it's for a good cause. :)
Posted by: Amanda at August 12, 2006 2:52 PM