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June 3, 2007
Tired of being a youngin'
Last week I was typing up an entry about feeling like I'm in the wrong age group. In lieu of that, another experience has led me to believe that age is the key to success in life. Or at least maybe I wouldn't have as many problems if I wasn't young.
I was sofa shopping yesterday with my mom and my brother Caleb. I had to donate the sofa I had on the day I moved in since it wouldn't fit through the door (or window, for that matter). This was the first visit with my family since moving, so it was an exceptionally great time. I needed my mom, though, to help me with the shopping process--she works in a furniture store, so I knew she wouldn't let me get swindled into paying too much, financing too much, or just getting something I didn't want. Given: I'm pretty strong-willed when I know what I want. But this time I really didn't know what I wanted, except that I didn't want to spend the whole contents of my bank account. It's like my mom was my personal agent.
We visited four stores yesterday and finally at the fourth and final store I found a sofa I actually liked--it's a terrific shade of green, big enough for comfort, small enough to abide by the measurements we took of the doorway, and in my price range.
We entered discussion about financing options, and I learned a great deal about being young, just out of college, just moved, and just starting a job: all of this hurts you when you're trying to get credit of any sort.
But how am I supposed to ever build credit if no one will give it to me? I can't build it if they won't let me try. I know I can make the payments, and that's not an issue. I budget like it's going out of style. The fact is that young people who are beginning lives of their own have no chance of getting credit on their own (and in some cases having a co-applicant doesn't even jive).
Again--I'm the wrong age. It has occurred to me that I will forever be in the wrong age group. Till this point in my life no one but bill collectors and my parents have consistently treated me like an adult. Being a "college kid" is detrimental to a person on so many levels... but it's also helpful in a variety of other ways. Measuring the pros against the cons I know that if I had to make the choice again I'd still choose to attend college without a second thought. But honestly if I had known that even with four more years of education I'd still be considered inexperienced in most areas of life... I might reconsider. After all, I am the very first person in my whole family to graduate with a bachelors degree.
Not all the problems with age are associated with credit, however. It's frustrating that because I look young that there's a great chance I'll be treated poorly at restaurants. And I now know that I don't deserve an apology at the grocery store when someone slams her cart into mine, knocking my items onto the floor. I still can't drive according to some people, evidently because I'm not forty. And I guess I'm not supposed to act like I actually do know anything because I'm young and therefore stupid even though I attended four years at a recognized institution and graduated with honors.
Not that I've dealt with any of those things...
I get scolded for making others feel old when they talk about Vanilla Ice being their favorite band in high school, and I mention that I had the cassette tape when I was in third grade. At this point, it's not even decades that are sole dividers--I've got 25 year-olds calling me fresh. I've come to the conclusion that no matter how old I am it won't be sufficient. I'll never reach that plateau in humanity on which I might build an actual life, complete with trust and respect from others.
I am venting, and I rarely do this on my blog, but I am quite disgusted with being young at the moment. All my "inexperience" and "freshness" and "youth" are raining down on the parade celebrating the new steps I'm taking towards independence, spoiling any joy of the experience because I feel like I ought to be striving to be older, striving to be something I'm not, which is something I didn't even do when I was a teenager. I've always been happy with who I am and where I am in life until now. And now it's seriously affecting how I move forward. It's worse than being a freshman.
My sofa will be delivered on Thursday. I'm not expecting that to change anything in my life except that I'll have more--and more comfortable--places to sit. The age thing I'm just going to have to wait out.
Posted by KarissaKilgore at June 3, 2007 3:37 PM
Comments
Karissa, save this blog so that you can read it again when you're pushing 40 (which is how I recently described myself for the first time).
You're building up a credit rating by paying rent on your new place, and by earning a steady paycheck.
Posted by: Dennis G. Jerz 
at June 3, 2007 5:50 PM
Oh I fully intend to keep it. Thanks. I guess it's the same fight between young and old that is evidenced when kids are about twelve and realize they can't get the kids menu or ride the Powerwheels cars anymore. Only in reverse. It seems like it's always what we want that we can't have.
The credit rating is the least of my annoyances now that I've got some construction underway. I already feel so ancient in so many ways, but irritants like what I mentioned just make me feel like all the things I'm doing to stretch into independence are all for naught.
Posted by: Karissa at June 3, 2007 10:11 PM
hey Karissa,
good luck with the whole "youngin" experience... I get that all the time especially recently...when my parent's friends found out that I'll be an instructor for college freshmen, they teased me about not being taken seriously because I'll look younger than the people I'm supposed to be teaching... on the pro-side, my friend's mom said that since I'm only four-years apart from them, they might be able to relate to me more and thus be more enthusiastic about class... remember what Rick Sebak said about youth, something aobut enjoying it while we have it, someday you'll be laughing about it...
on a different note, I facebooked Amanda and she said she might not stopped by to see Athena and I because she has to save money to possibly go apartment shopping... I told her that maybe we could visit her in New York and she her new apartment... just a thought...
talk to you in a bit...
have a good day :)
Posted by: mike d. at June 4, 2007 8:47 PM
Karissa,
I know exactly how you feel. I get the same treatment you do, the reluctant, terse waitresses at Eat N Park, the stalking eyes in the electronics stores because I'm a youth and I also have pockets. In so many ways I feel like I'm being treated unfairly, like if people actually knew my person, they'd treat me with the same respect as an adult (after all, those who know me best label me as an old man, and not just because I have grey hair). But then, at four in the afternoon, Judge Judy comes on, and it is at that moment that I see why we are treated the way we are. Every youth on that show has three bastard children, no job (or if the person does have a job, he/she doesn't file taxes), collects welfare for something, and is being sued for unpaid rent or bills or damaging another person's car because they drove drunk. The point is, people like you (and I should like to think I as well) are actually a cut above the average person in terms of financial responsibility and ethical conviction. You understand how to be a proper person, but I would venture to say that the majority of our peers don't have that ability. Older people know this, and so no matter how old we get, as long as our generation doesn't change its ways, we will get the same treatment from frowning superiors.
Posted by: Danny at June 7, 2007 12:41 PM
Danny, that might be the nicest comment I have ever received. Thanks :) I appreciate your kind words, and I agree that it's that "bad apple" story all over again, only it's a whole batch of bad apples with a few shiny nice useful ones tossed in.
I wrote this in a bit of a heated moment of thought, but I meant what I said. Except for the part about actually wanting to be old, I guess, but I suppose it's the perks that come along with it that I wouldn't mind. I'm sitting on my new sofa as I write this, so all is not lost. :)
Posted by: Karissa at June 7, 2007 3:10 PM