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June 26, 2007
How hot is it?
It's so hot outside...
...that when I left my coffee in my car to go to the bank, I came back and it was boiling.
...that the trees want some shade.
...that when the fog burned off from the humidity this morning I remember thinking that I'd rather drive through fog all day.
...that one might get heat exhaustion from walking from the car to a building, and then back.
...that air conditioning should be considered holy.
...that I wish I perspired SPF.
...that I am seriously considering carrying a parasol... even though those went out of style right around the time that corsets did. (Don't worry, I'm not considering a corset--I'm already having enough trouble breathing in this humidity! I don't need to crack any ribs to exacerbate the problem.)
...that I should have super-sized my asthma inhaler.
...that I'm wondering what animal should be used to describe it--"dog days" just doesn't cut it right now. Warthog days? Wildebeest days? Dead lizard days?
...that when ice melts on the sidewalk I hear little screams emanating from the puddle that remains... right before it evaporates.
...that my forearm was branded by the seat buckle in my car.
...that my steering wheel burned off my fingerprints.
...that the idea of turning on the oven/stove is enough to put my microwave on full-time duty.
...that my ice maker asked for a raise.
...that I wish my venetian blinds were solar panels.
...that a cold shower doesn't sound like such a bad idea.
...that hiring someone to peel grapes and fan me with palm branches seems like a rational business expense.
...that when my dog wants to go outside I beg her to reconsider using the toilet instead.
...that I still chuckle at the idea of global warming. Yeah, you heard me. It's not that hot, Al Gore.
Posted by KarissaKilgore at June 26, 2007 3:53 PM
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