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October 2, 2007
New beginning after beginning again
I'm living at my parents' house for the time being, adjusting to the "norm" of this life again, and the burden of having lived on my own for about four months is becoming evident each day I live around others. Yes, living alone in the central/eastern part of the state wasn't all it was cracked up to be. In all my reflection on the experience as a whole, I've tried really hard to not give that region a "bad rap," since I'm certain that the combination of timing and other circumstances beyond my control contributed to (or exacerbated) any negativity already present. But in all honesty, the region didn't help. I tried in earnest to make things work and when the job fell through? Well, it just seemed like I should take my new beginning and string myself along to another new beginning.
Being around family again is sort of bizarre since 1) this is the first time I haven't been in school since I was about 3 years old, 2) things seem reversed since I wasn't home for the summer and now I'm home for the rest of the year (usually it's home for summer, school for the majority of the year), and 3) it's just me, my parents, and my youngest brother (older sister lives on her own, other younger brother is a sophomore in college). It's also weird because there are three dogs running around all the while: Trixie (10 mo.), Serena (5 years), and Sherwood (10 years this month). They're all adorable and have quirky personalities, but sometimes it's enough to make you insane--one barks and they ALL bark, walk one and the other two whine, try to play with one and they all try to fetch. (Fetch, meanwhile, has turned into a different game. It's called "Serena Always Wins." The biggest dog, the golden Lab/German shepherd mix named Serena, is always the returning victor in this game, carrying the toy proudly before her. The other two dogs may have had the toy at one point, but it doesn't matter... because Serena always wins.)
My youngest brother, Caleb, is a sophomore in high school. He turned 16 two weeks ago (which makes me feel just about ancient... but not quite). Last night his persistent and persuasive ways earned us both Dairy Queen. (This is one of those "You Know You Live in Pennsylvania When..." things--our DQ is closing for the season next week. And yeah, I can tell the difference between our DQ and some other one...) Caleb is generally a hilarious child. Always has been. He's good at getting me to just chill out and relax, now more so than before since we empathize with each other when it comes to being under pressure with school, sports, etc.
One of the perks of moving home is that I get to be a "big sister" (even though Caleb is 6'5" and I'm only 6' tall). Last year when my brother Jacob went to college, Caleb said it was difficult to adjust to it just being him and my parents at home. I'm already enjoying my reacquired role. Sunday, despite illness, I got to explain how and when to use a semicolon. Tonight, I got to help him with his algebra II homework--2x2 and 3x3 matrices, determinants, and factoring. (While I have a degree in English and writing is my passion, I admit that I'm not bad at math. I hate it, as a blanket statement, but I don't mind looking over my brother's chapter to see what it is he's doing, jarring my memory with the barrage of alpha-numeric statements and formulas, and helping him to see where he's made an error.)
From doing the dishes to applying Cramer's Rule, walking all three dogs to explaining mechanics of English, I already feel more helpful, useful, and needed than I did for four months.
Posted by KarissaKilgore at October 2, 2007 10:07 PM
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Comments
Happy to hear that you're back and settling in again, Karissa.
Posted by: Amanda at October 3, 2007 10:31 PM
Thank you, Amanda, my dear sole commenter :) It's rough, but I think things will be better once I find a job.
When my brother came home from school yesterday, he said that his math teacher (who I had for calc) said "thank you" for helping him. Haha ;)
Posted by: Karissa at October 4, 2007 8:39 AM
I refuse to let you call Amanda your only commenter, as I am commenting now.
I'm glad you haven't had any troubles transitioning back to the home life. It is nice to feel needed. I hope you find an amazing job that actually is right for you soon! (Oh, and that I don't have to compete with you for, because you'll get it hands down.)
Posted by: Diana Geleskie at October 4, 2007 3:34 PM
LOL, thank you, my dear Diana. I've been applying like crazy for jobs, to no avail so far, but I think I'm making headway at least... Or I hope, at the very least.
Posted by: Karissa at October 4, 2007 7:05 PM
There are a few things I miss about the job I left in order to come here, but I'm much happier. You are entrepreneurial and talented, and you will find your place in the world sooner or later.
Posted by: Dennis G. Jerz at October 4, 2007 8:21 PM