So, right.. I need to let off some steam
Things are so stressful, I hear it over and over again that I am not a good enough musician, that I'll never be a good teacher, not good enough, not talented enough, not smart enough... I'm sick of it. Its not right. I know I'm better than the load of bull pucky that they are throwing at me. right..? right
People who slam other people's fingers in van doors suck. I'm in pain. My piano teacher hates me... it sucks.
My roommate decided on Friday to tell me that he can't afford rent anymore. This.. coming from the guy who owes 400 in back rent... can't afford to help with this months rent... and on top of that, he decided that he's leaving... going back home. That means, AARON and I have to leave too, because we obviously can't afford a house on our own. I have to leave MY HOME.... home. arg.
to quote my very wise mother "Leah Marie, take a deep breath, enjoy it, your not dead"
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (end)
I really liked how after the king and the duke put on that show ("I never see two men leak the way they done." "it worked the crowd like you never see anything like it") the mourners began to sing "the Doxology" and Huck comments that "it just warmed you up and made you feel as good as church letting out. Music is a good thing; and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully."
HONESTY... music is always honest, it shows the deepest depths of the composer's soul.. and the deepest depths of the performer's soul. REAL music is pure and honest and in my own eyes one of the ways to feel closer to God.(i am a little biased i guess haha)
adventures of huckleberry finn
"Then she told me all about the bad place, and I said I wished I was there. She got mad,then, but I didn't mean no harm. All I wanted was to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change, I warn't particular. She said it was wicked to say what I said; said she wouldn't say it for the whole wolrd; she was going to live so as to go to the good place. Well, I couldn't see no advantage in going where she was going, so I made up my mind I wouldn't try for it." Page 72
I realize my quote is in only the first chapter, but I really liked it and wanted to talk about it.
Because the Widow wants Huck to see Heaven like she sees Heaven, Huck doesn't want to have anything to do with it. Do you think huck would enjoy church and religion more if he would explore it like he explores everything else? or do you think religion is too concervative and strucured for him?
Emily Dickinson's poetry
I taste a liquor never brewed...
I thought it interesting that she compared alchohol to nature...because alchohol can have the same effects on a person as nature can.. both can play tricks with your mind, make things seem as if they different than they are, make you happy or sad depending, and at times can be dangerous. what do you think?
Emily Dickinson's poetry
I never saw a moor
I was drawn to the second part of this poem... it made so much sense to me...
"I never spoke with God,
Nor visited in heaven;
Yet certain am I of the spot
As if the chart were given."
with such a faith in God and Heaven... she is so sure it is there even though she's never seen it. I've never written down that idea before, she says it so much more beautifully than I ever could.
The first thing I thought when I read epigram to wallstreet was "Wow, I didn't know that Poe was whimsical to crack a joke." But I don't think he meant it so much as a joke as he meant it as a criticique of the way Americans hope to "hit it big"... ?
I had a question to throw out... in Silence... was the troop of Echos supposed to be something? A plague? Death?
I thought Poe wrote this poem to show how afraid he was of his dead love coming back to haunt him...
"fantastic terrors never felt before"
"to still the beating of my heart"
Poor guy! Afraid of a little bird.
Walden ch 13-18
"where flickering shawdows may play at evening about the rafters? These forms are more agreeable to the fancy and imagination than fresco paintings or other the most expensive furniture."
I think we really should take something from reading these selections. Beauty is ALL around us. It is in the building we sit in, every day, without thinking about how priveledged we are to be there. It is in the leaves changing colors... yadda yadda. Really, we get so caught up in all of the work we do every day, that we ignore the important things in life.
Walden Ch 2-4
"like Atlas to take the world on my shoulders"
"fit to entertain a travelling god, and where a goddess might trail her garments."
"Olympus is but the outside of the earth everywhere"
"while the mists, like ghosts, were stealthily withdrawing in every direction into the woods"
"behind the constellation of Cassiopeia's Chair"
It was interesting to me that Thoreau compared nature to the different gods in Chapter two. It brought religion closer, something we could all relate to. It brings one to think that maybe religion can be found in more than just a building, more than a church, more than just one book.
on another note:
I find the concept of transcendentalism so very interesting. I had no idea what it was all about until I went here: