September 14, 2004

Hi, how may i help you?

Ok, so this is yet another Cedar Point related entry, but i find it a mildly amusing idea, and i thought everyone else might too. Its not utterly disgusting, but lets just say for most its not dinner table discussion worthy.....

So one of my last days at Cedar Point, i was working GCA, or Gemini Childrens Area(Don't ask)which is in the back of the park, so i had never really noticed this before. I was on break, and went to the bathroom, and it was then that i noticed that some of the stalls have numbers on them. I then thought of the idea of restroom directors. It stemmed, i think, from the traffic directors we have in the parking lot. I lauged out loud when i began to think what it would be like if this were true. You would walk into the bathroom, someone would be standing there in an outfit(not sure what it would look like) and it would go a little something like this.

*Restroom attendant-"Hi, how may i help you?"
*Me-"Well, i have to use the bathroom..."
*Restroom attendant-"Absolutely, thats what we're here for. How much time would you like to reserve?"
*Me-"I reserve time?"
*Restroom attendant-"Yes, you can reserve a five minute block, for those quick, on the go bladder releases, or you can reserve up to twenty five minutes, for those times of .....difficulty. You can reserve any amount of time in between five and twenty five, the only condition being you must reserve it in five minute increments."
*Me-"Um..ok..ill just have...five minutes?" (How long does it really take one to pee...ive never timed myself.....)
*Restroom attendant-"Great! (flashes pearly white teeth) Stalls one through five are reserved for those shorter amounts of time, six thru ten are for the lengthier needs of people, so you can go ahead and decide which stall you want and sign in."
*Me-"Sign in?"
*Restroom attendant-"Yes, so we know which stalls are taken and which are not. We also have a comment sheet that you can fill out, we want your restroom experience to be the best, most comfortable one possible."
*Me-(By this time, just trying to use the freakin toilet, trying to savor the last fifteen minutes of my half hour break) "I'll just have stall three, and ill be quick i promise."
Restroom attendant-"Ok, well, i will give you the key right after you sign in." (another flash of pearly whites)
*Me-"All i wanted to do was pee, and now i have to go back to work, since ive wasted my entire break, im not exactly right next to the restroom, i need time to walk back."
Restroom attendant-"Im sorry your restroom experience was unsatisfactory, our comment cards are available. Next?"
I hear her say as i walk away, thinking to myself, thank gosh for bushes and the kleenex i carry in my pocket.

Hhmm...i conclude, that while extremely amusing, it would be a pain in the ass if we ever had restroom attendants. Guests, would get very angry. We would have more AURs (Accidental Urinary Releases) in trains because people would refuse to use the restroom provided for them. Either that, or guests will be complaining of bladder infections because they held it until they got home. While traffic operators are a decent idea, lets just hope anyone with the idea of bettering our restrooms holds off and decides to....ehh i don't know, as long as they stay away from the bathroom.

Posted by Lori Rupert at September 14, 2004 08:38 AM
Comments

Hahaha!! That was great. I love the idea of reserving your stall in five minutes increments. A very cute entry! :c)

Posted by: Moira at September 14, 2004 06:24 PM

Thanks..im not sure exactly who you are but i liked your entry about sandwiches..it was cute as well.

Posted by: Lori at September 15, 2004 02:40 PM

Lori!!! Hi, it's Kristi! You gotta remember me... your old roomie! Yeah yeah, I quit... but I do have your CD... so e-mail me your addy and I'll send it... I may even give you a jewl case! Haha... alrighty hun... later... btw... my sn is: ticklemepinker03

Posted by: Kristi at September 15, 2004 06:43 PM

I just ran across this and had to comment...believe it or not, i have been to a restroom that had attendants, though it was a little different than your story. At the Wisconsin State Fair they have people that "move the process along", they direct you to empty stalls and wipe down the toilet after each use. After you wash your hands they are waiting to give you a paper towel for drying. It was an interesting experience and I do have to say the restroom was kept tidy. I don't know about the time scheduling thing though????

Posted by: Jen at October 23, 2004 05:44 PM
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