January 29, 2004

Innocence

I decided to try my hand at a flash fiction story. I really have no idea what a "right" flash fiction story consists of, so feel free to criticize my work. Compliments, comments, and complaints are welcome.....

Confined by choice to her bedroom, protected and closed in by the snow white, unmarked walls, surrendered to their innocence, she did nothing but think. Back and forth her eyes shifted, wedding band to wall, a dirtied symbol to innnocence. His secret was no longer undisclosed.

Posted by Lori Rupert at 10:24 AM | Comments (3)

January 26, 2004

Im back.....and ive got opinions......

So, it has been a few days since I have blogged, i have had some opinions floating around in my head, i have just been trying to formulate them so that others may understand, im still not quite sure anyone else will get where im coming from, but all i can do is try.....

First of all, I was rereading A Jury of Her Peers, and i caught something. I didn't catch this until i read it for the second time though. Let me start from the first time i read it. When i first read it, i understood it, but i still questioned as to whether she had done it or not, and i suspected that she may have been abused, but the second time i read it, i understood that he had killed her bird and she was lonely and was enraged. I wonder though, if perhaps there was more to it, i don't think she would have killed him just because he killed her bird. I think it was perhaps the last straw, which leads me back to believing that she was previously abused. I also wander though, whether she came to her peak and it was the last straw and then did it in a rage, or if she planned it, waiting for him to do something to send her over the edge. I think it could go either way. There is evidence though of her just flying into a rage, such as things half finished, although after she had killed him, why wouldn't she have finished them? There was something else i noticed as well, i don't know if this makes sense to anyone else or if anyone else caught it, but the second time i read it, i caught a bit of irony in the knotting it part. When the ladies initially pondered whether she was going to quilt it or knot it, it was innocent. Then, after they had decided she did, i noticed it became a joke. The men asked them at the end, and they said knot it, which i thought was a private inside joke between them, because he was killed by a KNOTTED rope. I don't know anything about quilting terms, but i did notice this, and the second time i read it, it clicked in my mind. The first time i read it, it confused me. The ladies saying that though, even more leads me to believe that she did it, because its another round about way of them saying she did. Also, this story provides a very big conflict for the sherriffs wife, abide by law or protect a lady she doesn't even know. I am not sure why she chose to protect her, being as she doesn't know her.....but she did. I think maybe it was pity more than anything.

Posted by Lori Rupert at 11:43 AM | Comments (2)

January 21, 2004

No excuses, no regrets...

Whats left to say when the mind is at loss for words? Whats left to do when the heart is being torn in two? The mind is the logic, the heart the hopeless romantic....both full of good reasoning, however, only one can win out in the end, and let me tell you, its usually the heart.

I don't know what to say. What is there that hasn't been said already? Ive poured my heart out on the line, I don't see how i can be anymore honest and open. I feel as though i am fighting a losing battle, fear is winning in this war, or perhaps it has already won. Ive forgiven once, im hurting twice, id be willing to give it a third chance. I can only fight for so long to hold onto something that wants to be let go. Im being pushed away, i know the gesture, ive done it to people. Subconsciously, everyone wants to be fought for, even when they state otherwise, which answers my question about whether or not I should fight or give up. I don't know whether it would be considered a good thing that my father told me to never give up and not to be a quitter. Did he mean in all situations of life, even those deemed hopeless? I don't know, but i do know that i can't help but fight. Sadly, however, I can only fight for so long. Im struggling, to stay upright, falling all the while. Quickly, Quickly, grab me and hold on, before I fall completely and am lost forever...I live by no excuses, no regrets, ive got no regrets, ive said everything i wanted to say, theres only one thing ive got left to ask: What the hell is your excuse?

Posted by Lori Rupert at 01:37 AM | Comments (1)

January 20, 2004

A world of bubbles

Wouldn't i be really strange if the entire population was encased in their own giant bubble? A world of hamster wanna bes rolling around up and down the streets...on the other hand, if the entire population was this way, would it then be considered normal to be a human bubble?

Yesterday, i was reading the nmj blog, and i came across the discussion going on over Pauls comment towards Julies blog. The one comment from Jay mentions "censorship bubbles". Well, this morning, when I woke up fifteen minutes before my alarm went off, I was completely enveloped in the thousand degree heat under my blankets. I sleep curled into a little ball completely under my covers, and when I woke up, I poked my head out to see what time it was, only to be hit with a blast of cool air, coming from the window my roommate likes to keep open. In seeing that I had fifteen minutes left until my alarm went off, I quickly pulled my head back in and layed there wide awake, enjoying the coziness. After about five minutes, I drug myself out of bed and hurried quickly into the shower to be enveloped in more warmth. As I was doing so, however, my mind wondered back to Jay's comment, and I thought to myself, I wish I could be encased in a bubble, so that I could have constant warmth and coziness, since I so much love being warm and toasty. Then, as I thought about it, I came to the conclusion that perhaps I should stop being such a dork and invest in an electric blanket....:)

Posted by Lori Rupert at 10:41 AM | Comments (10)

January 18, 2004

Isn't it ironic....don't you think?

So this weekend, I went to my friends house, and her room reminds me of the story we read, The Yellow Wallpaper......

The walls in her room are painted yellow, and she has a silhouette of herself filled with pictures of her. So you see, there is a woman on her wall, and when i was laying on her couch, staring at the wall, i thought about the story we read. Now, on to the story. When I first started reading it, I didn't understand it, the author was absolutely everywhere with it. As it progressed, i began to see signs in the narrator that i thought were because of depression. Eventually, I realized the narrator was crazy. The lady was definitely crazy, and i think she knew it. The one part, she started to say that she was "better in body perhaps...." and then she stopped, as her husband yelled at her to never say such things. I think she was going to say but not in mind. Other people in our class, such as tiffany and diana think that the narrator killed herself. I don't agree with this. First of all, when her husband walked in the room, she spoke to him before he fainted. It was what she said that caused him to faint, not that she was lying there dead. Also, there is one point in the story where she mentions jumping out the window and is like, no i couldn't do that. I just think she went mentally insane. I think that maybe its because she was trying so hard to convince her husband that she was really sick, she eventually became extremely sick. On the contrarty, it could have been them locking her in that room that made her go nuts. I am curious to discuss the story in class and see what other people have come up with.

Posted by Lori Rupert at 06:18 PM | Comments (1)

January 15, 2004

And this is the way you conform your blog, conform your blog, conform your blog

Righty O then. Julie's presentation was very informative, that i will admit, however.....

I didn't like it at all. Can we say conformity anyone? Don't get me wrong, it looks like she worked very hard on it, however, i think it was wasted breath. For all of those who already have been blogging, it was pointless. I mean really, how many of us are actually going to change are blogs according to what Julie said? Furthermore, how many of us are going to start writing within Julie's guidelines after four months of writing in freedom? Surely, not I. Good effort Julie, really it is, but as i said in my comment, if I had been given these standards upon beginning my blogging, i would have ignored them, and quite frankly, now that they have been put out there, im still going to ignore them. I don't see a problem with my blog. On a side note, I think that your statement about personal attacks should have used Pauls blog because what you did to his blog quite eerily reminded me of....well...lets see.....a personal attack?

Posted by Lori Rupert at 11:50 PM | Comments (2)

January 14, 2004

So what now?

How can one be sorry, yet not sorry? Its simple, im not sorry for what i say, only the reactions people may have to it.

I speak my mind, im bluntly honest, open and understanding. I guess one may say I am difficult, but hey, if thats what you want to call me...than feel free. Really, I don't care what you call me because what you think of me is none of my business, but anyways, thats not the point of this entry, the point of this entry is...yeah, i guess momentarily i did mess up. I mean, who doesn't but yet, when don't I? I guess though, i didn't, i mean, i messed things up, but i did't mess up, unless being honest is messing up? Put it this way, things got messed up because of my honesty. So it really wasn't my honesty that was the problem, it was just the way it was interpreted, because it was interpreted as something that i didn't intend? I want to know why it all makes so much sense in my head, but yet, on paper its so much worse than it really is, so much more of a mess. I don't know, but once again, im off to bed. Good night world

Posted by Lori Rupert at 12:49 AM | Comments (0)

January 13, 2004

Sleep is the only place dreams come true.

And that has become my new favorite quote. I made it up, and while it may make not an ounce of sense to the outside world, to me it explains oh so much...."Sleep is the only place dreams come true"-Lori-

Did you ever think that just when you found something that perhaps seemed stable, seemed so good, so surreal, that finally, things were getting better, only to have it suddenly turn into a spiraling mess? Was happy, had something good, yet, i was so afraid for it to be ruined, tryed and was trying so hard to make it work, i think i may have messed it up. I mean, things are better than they were earlier, but yet, even earlier than that they were so much better than they are now. I guess, perhaps, that if i quit trying so hard to do, and just do, quit trying so hard to be or not be something and just be? Perhaps if i eliminate trying and just do, there is no room for failure? I mean, you can try to do something and fail, but if you just do it, can you fail? I don't know, it makes sense to me, but then i guess, i am the one sitting here typing at twelve nineteen am on a, well, now tuesday morning..and i am the one experiencing the situation. So i guess i will just do, just be, quit trying, but then, quit trying, isn't that the same as quitting? Either way, im going to sleep, where my dreams have no choice to come true, because in the delusional state of sleep they are true. Good night world.

Posted by Lori Rupert at 12:16 AM | Comments (6)

January 11, 2004

Im so happy....im floating on cloud nine.......

Hold on to your socks...by golly im back!!!!!! And just when you all were relieved cuz i hadn't shown in awhile......well HA. Im baaaacccckkk......

Its really strange, i don't care anymore, yet i am soooo happy. I met a boy, so therefore i don't care about the stupid dumb one that hurt me! Hes a sweetheart...can't wait to see him again...so yeah everyone, here i am back with a fiery venegeance. Did you miss me? Ha, you were all like ahhh no more lori.......yay....well too BAD, cuz here i am! So no really, my break was pretty boring......i watched alot of tv............all hail sitcoms, especially the ones that run the same time every afternoon, all afternoon..family matters, seventh heaven, step by step, full house, yeah, ive become an expert on those shows, but its ok, cuz i liked it! Yep, glad to be back here at school where i have my blessed internet and communication with the outside world. I didn't have a computer at home so I couldn't blog, but have no fear because i am back in action so let the blogging begin. Second semester, run in fear, here i come...................

Posted by Lori Rupert at 10:47 PM | Comments (3)