Eye-Opener: Memo

french onion soup disaster

Caveat: gross

French onion soup is delicious but lethal. This is the third time it happened to me. I always forget the previous disaster and somehow I always succumbed to its tantalizing aroma. So if you were to see or hear me order this soup, please stop me (do whatever- yell, slap me [but not too painfully]).

No it wasn't diarrhea, that would have been the easy way out (no pun intended). This would have been quick and less painful.

But what happened to me, I have no name for it. I can only describe it. I ate the soup around 10 p.m. and the effects of it didn't hit me until midnight. My stomach gradual expanded, and it looked like a water balloon about to explode. I felt it and it was not soft. I had this feeling of wanting to burp but it was difficult. I had to stay still because my stomach would hurt if I moved.

It wasn't heartburn. I think it was the cheese's fault. For those who have never eaten a french onion soup, this soup consisted of onions and on top of it was fromage (cheese). The cheese is similar to the type of cheese on pizza but thicker. It almost tasted like and have the melted texture of mozzarella cheese (rubbery very hard to slice with your spoon).

Maybe it was so thick and late in the night that my stomach didn't have the power to digest it. But I think this cheese started expanding in my stomach the way somebody would blow a bubble from a bubblicious gum.

I don't know how long I writhed on my coach but finally I belched three loud ones consecutively (I think these belches were record breaking for me for its loudness and quantity) and all the gas in my stomach disappeared.

I never knew how tiring it could get, and I fell asleep. I woke up two hours later around 3 a.m. I turned off the t.v. and went upstairs in my room and continued sleeping.

The morale of this tale is to stop me from eating french onion soup. In the future do everything you can to stop me, your help will be gratefully appreciated. Thank you!

Posted by Michael Diezmos at January 5, 2006 11:38 AM