Losing your voice sucks. I'm not talking about freedom of speech (that would suck too), I'm talking about pre-laryngitis literally.
It all began when I spent two days Friday and Saturday, when I pushed myself to exhaustion trying to finish two short-story manuscripts...
Friday night, what was I doing while people are dancing and having their 'fun,' I was down in the 24-hour lounge, finishing my short story "Abduction" for Writing of Fiction minimum 2000 words. The following day Saturday, I finished my first draft for Publication Workshop entitled "A Wake" (minimum six pages, but I actually surpassed it and went to eight pages 2080 words).
I did this 'writing festival' back to back during the weekend with the crazy weather- you know, the type that was nice and warm on Friday, then temperature would drop the next day, the sun would shine, the sky was clear, then it would flurry, then not, then more flurry like a snow globe shaken by the weather god, then Sunday pretty stable like nothing happened.
Of course the pollen took advantage of this and attacked as soon as possible (allergy attack), mucus building up, blowing noses, coughing, now mixed that with verbosity and exhaustion, systems down, larnyx made vulnerable, constant chatting, what do you get? very croaky, hoarse person pushing the limit- the following Friday, I lost my voice, even whispering was detrimental.
Every once in a while your body will tell you "hey buddy, pay attention, I'm not working well...fine don't listen to me I quit," and they will quit on you. Harmony has to be established between you and your body or else. You can't be a dictator to your own body because they won't listen, and they'll just stop functioning.
I should know this by now, I remember during the winter break, I was exhausted that I fainted (I could have slammed my head somewhere sharp). Then one time long before college began, my contact lenses dried in my eyes. Most recently I was so close to getting laryngitis, the nurse said that it took four days to officialize if indeed I had laryngitis. I never had laryngitis before so it was pretty nerve-racking.
I didn't know that whispering was straining my voice. I'd whisper and people thought I was weird. People didn't communicate to me the same way. Some of my friends went on "mother" mode, very caring. Some thought that I was completely handicapped, they limited their output. They forgot that I could still hear and I can still respond by writing.
For the most part, I carried a paper, in it written was "I lost my voice, I can mime or whisper" then later this changed to "I lost my voice, I can whisper" then "I lost my voice, whispering is detrimental." People who didn't know continued to talk to me, I'd point to my throat, some at first thought I was playing charade, some just think I'm odd as usual. Sometimes I forced myself to explain, but it was hopeless.
I took out a sign language book, maybe I can learn signing. I learned how to say "I can't speak" and I reviewed the sign language alphabet. As I was perusing through the book, I learned a bit about grammar in sign language, and learning about how some signs were being formed. I had a little understanding of how it might work.
What was most torturous was thinking about the last thing I did before losing voice. I was singing a lot. Sure I don't have the tantalizing honey-voiced of a tenor or the boyish baritone, sure once in a while I can pull off the vibrato of Snow-White or psuedo soprano also known as a falsetto. I can hit the note, all I have to do is hear it and replicate...
One thing though, this experience helped me to listen, not only to my body but people. I'd communicate with them either by miming or just writing it on a piece of paper (while doing this, I practiced my short-hand, because I want to get my message across as fast as possible)...
As of right now, I don't have laryngitis, but I still feel some of its pre-effects. My throat is still sometimes scratchy, my voice is audible (not in whisper mode), but not yet to the level of singing/belting out chipmunk style. I am grateful for the chances...
Posted by Michael Diezmos at April 3, 2006 7:12 PM"I lost my voice, I can mime or whisper" then later this changed to "I lost my voice, I can whisper" then "I lost my voice, whispering is detrimental."
Like a true writer, you are editing your own annotations.
I feel for you, Mike. Let's just hope that you don't slam a window on your fingers so that you can't type!
Posted by: Dennis G. Jerz at April 3, 2006 9:24 PMHi Mike, I hope that you are feeling better soon. I have one laryngitis story. A friend (now an ex-friend) once pretended to have laryngitis on April 1st and the people at her office were very concerned about her health, took over her phone responsibilities and mothered her. She pulled the same thing on me when we met for lunch. I kept up a one sided conversation to boost her spirits while she mimed and wrote short notes and I said that she should go see a doctor. At the end of lunch she said wrote "I have something very important to tell you..." and then leaned over to me and loudly said "I don't have laryngitis - April Fools!" I felt angry at her for pulling this on me. The people in her office still didn't know it was all a joke and I told her to either go home now or continue letting people think she had laryngitis for the rest of the day since I was sure that her boss and her co-workers, especially those who were picking up some of her work for her, would be angry to find out that they were the butt of such a long and elaborate joke. I don't know what she ended up doing.
Posted by: rosemary at April 4, 2006 2:31 PM