Aight.. whether for work or pleasure, I put a lot of time on the roads, and I am appalled at what I see. I can't stand it! Road Rage? Gimme a break. The way people "drive" out there is dangerous, stupid, annoying and thoughtless. Here's a list of things to follow, so that you don't piss me off, not to mention others that love cars, love driving and hate the fact that your rolling eyesore threatens our safety, as well as our beloved vehicles.
1. HANG UP! GET THE !&#@! OFF THE PHONE!
2. See that YIELD sign? THAT IS FOR YOU, IDIOT!
3. Your car IS equipped with TURNSIGNALS. USE THEM.
4. If your turnsignal does not automatically switch off, after you turn, TURN IT OFF YOURSELF! PAY ATTENTION!!!
5. The RIGHT lane is for driving. The LEFT lane is for PASSING!
6. When a faster vehicle approaches your smoking heap in the left lane, and flashes high-beams, it means GET OVER, GET OUT OF THAT LANE!
7. The magnetic ribbons are PLAYED OUT. What's up with these freakin' COLLECTIONS you people have on your cars??? What.. 7-8 ribbons not enough?
8. PLEASE WASH AND WAX YOUR VEHICLE. I am sick of seeing neglected cars and trucks, it's disgusting. Do you know that if you drove your filthy, beat car in Japan, you would receive an expensive ticket, becuase it is ugly and impolite? We should do the same here. There is no @%$! reason to see cars still splattered with ROAD SALT, as we near mid-June.
9. Anyone who pulls out in front of a high-speed car, goes 20 m.p.h. for 100 feet and turns off, without another car in sight for miles behind, should be arrested.
10. School Zones MEAN 15 MPH. SLOW DOWN, IDIOT.
11. "Tough Guys" in girl cars, you do not impress anyone while driving 50 mph through parking lots in your Pep-Boys "modified" Hyundai Tiburon.
12. If you are going to put in a "system," for GOD'S SAKE.. DYNAMAT! I hate hearing these rattling pieces of crap with the license plates practically falling off and screws popping out everywhere because of the bass. Do some research. Go to car audio shows. Don't be ghetto!
13. "spinner" hubcaps are garbage.
14. "Altezza" or "Euro-tails" are ugly, dangerous and so rice, its sick. Loose that crap, please. Your stock tailights were designed for a reason. Your cavalier does not look pimp.
15. As if it's not bad enough you're driving a faded silver '95 Caravan or equal, with missing wheel covers, you choose NOT to turn on your headlights in the rain or fog. Thanks a bunch. TURN ON YOUR LIGHTS IN THE RAIN! For CRYING OUT LOUD! Is it that hard?
16. If you're gonna put some fancy body-kit on your civic or whatever, PLEASE paint it? PLEASE take care of it? I hate looking at ugly, unpainted (and usually broken) plastic bits falling off of your cars, you make the whole import scene look nasty.
17. If you are drunk, GET THE @^%#$ OFF THE ROAD!
18. If the ass-end of your '83 Celebrity or whatever is scraping the ground, you NEED struts. Get it FIXED. NO, it is NOT fun watching your piece of crap belching sparks over every road dip.
19. Fart cans. PLEASE. This is just tacky. Your car sounds terrible, it does NOTHING for "performance" (actually harms it, due to loss of backpressure) and they look retarded, sticking out 6-7 inches past your rear bumper. Save for another couple of months and buy a REAL performance exhaust?
20. Wings. OH GOD.. please lose these erector-set looking monstrosities. Your Alero is not going to be faster, just a lot uglier.
21. If I am in the middle lane, and you are pulling out onto the highway, for God's SAKE.. please wait until I pass you? Nothing is scarier than some idiot merging onto the highway, merely inches from you, when you're doing 65 mph.
22. People that beep horns at stop lights, trying to play "Shave and a Haircut, two bits" in this day and age should immediately have their licenses revoked for one year.
23. If you are crusing through a residential area or anywhere, actually at 3:45 in the morning, please turn down your radio. Nobody wants to hear your Top-40 Rap.
Got some to add? Feel free....
Posted by MichaelSichok at June 9, 2005 10:43 PM