June 27, 2005

Thank You Drive Thru....

Damn.. my last entry made me all hungry.. It's hard being so cynical and angry when you haven't eaten in like 8 hours. Fuel for the fire. Anyways, this whole "fast food" thing also irritates the Hell out of me, and since im on the angry-Mike kick tonight, let's keep it rollin..

OK. You're on break from work, you have about 1/2 hour until you have to hit the road or head back to the office or whatever. Nothin' like getting stuck behind some idiot that has either 1) obviously never been in a drive-thru before 2) has 5 or 6 DIFFERENT orders for whatever work-a-holic ass-kissing nerds in their office that "work through lunch," each with a different bill and/or "preference" or 3) a dodge caravan full of obese unplanned children that are hanging out the windows and have zero interest in what they want to eat.

Yeah, we've all been there. BUT.. here's more in line of what I'm getting at with this post. WHY drive-thru's (and fast food in general) SUCKS. I've even went ahead and "Graded" my usual stops, in like.. some scholastic endeavor. Or something.

Burger King - WAY stingy on the napkins. It's NO fun eating a whopper with one sad piece of toilet paper thin napkin. 3/4 of the time they don't even put them in the bag. When you ask for "Extras" they give you this stare, then hand you one, maybe two. Food quality? Decent, I suspose, for what it is... although you can still taste it 12 hours later. The burgers are not bad, just messy. WAY TOO MUCH CONDIMENT USAGE and 1 napkin. Fries usually end up all through the bag, due to the half-assed minature paper container. At least the drinks are decently cold and properly mixed, not overwhelming with ice. (D)

McDonalds - Horrible, in every sense of the word. Food is always cold and/or messy. Fries are barely ever even salted. Nothing looks like those photos. Feel all fat and sluggish afterwards. Drinks are 90% ice. Big Macs are sloppily put together- most of the cheese and sauce is in the box. Quarter Pounders are from like.. last night. Fries are damp and soggy, bland. Miserable, insipid people in the window, cannot correctly count change, usually scowl as you receive your often INCORRECT order. (check that bag before you roll) (F)

Taco Bell - Hit or Miss. Either your food is good and service is quick, or else you get blah food and the phantom speaker... you know, when you sit there for 5 minutes before some one asks what you want. You usually get an abundance of napkins though, and the offers for sauce is nice. Over all, can't really complain, except that you can't possibly eat this stuff more than once every couple of weeks. (C)

Wendy's - Terrible, on par with McDonalds as the biggest waste of time and cash. Lousy, square-shaped burgers served at room temperature with far too many ice-cold bits of lettuce and onion. Too much condiment usage. Total mess. Bland, cardboard fries. Good luck on getting ANY napkins, more or less one. Watered-down, lousy soda. BTW.. what the hell is a "frosty" aside from a cup of bland "chocolate" self-serve? Ugh. Total crap. (F)

Arby's - "I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's," said someone on The Simpsons... but I always felt that was a little harsh. The food is decent, although a little expensive for what you get, unless there is a deal going on. The "Horsey Sauce" is great! Sandwiches are yummy, albeit messy. Especially with the "Cheddar" sauce. Fries are good. They don't skimp on the napkins. No real complaints, Arby's doesn't make you feel all bloaty and gross a little while later either (like McDonald's). Drinks are also plentiful, without excess ice and mixed properly. (B)

Long John Silvers - Always the oddball, with their fish/chicken meals. If you don't mind everything deep-fried together, creating one unique taste sensation (GREASE) Long John's isn't too bad. It's a shame we no longer have one at the Mall.. Have to drive out to Latrobe now. So anyways, you get a decent amount of food for the price. Lots of variety, and they will give you extra "crispies" (you know.. those things???) if you ask. Good sauces, Lots of napkins that you can see through after touching with your greasy hands. Good drink mixtures, not too much ice. Everything is fine, yummy and filling, until you realize how much grease you have just consumed. Save your arteries, only eat sparingly.. like.. a few times a YEAR. (B)

And that's about it. The moral of this story is.. JUST PACK A LUNCH.

Posted by MichaelSichok at June 27, 2005 11:42 PM

did you see that film "supersize me" where the guy eats mcdonals for 3 meals a day for 30 days? awesome.

Posted by: cs at June 28, 2005 03:56 PM

hell yeah.. i own it. its good stuff!

Posted by: Mike Sichok at June 28, 2005 11:30 PM
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