Twilight Zone Tuesday

Of all of the Tuesdays in the past five years, I would have to say that this is one of the weirdest. Tuesdays are normally known for their passive attitude. Really they are a seguay day, leading from hectic monday or complacent wednesday. But not today. This tuesday has turned my normal and monosyllabic world into a screaming, topsy-turvy conundrum! Okay, too many big words are making this worse...

But alot of weird stuff is happening up here at school. Some of it I cannot really get in to because then people who could possibly read this would be like "*Guffaw!* He is talking about something I did!" And I really don't like guffawing others, even if it is for the purpose of my amusement.

For one thing, I woke up, as usual once a month, five minutes before Relgion class at 8am and was forced to get there without a shower (something that only spells trouble for this very Italian child). So we get back our essays that were worth 25% of our grade, and I got a 17 out of 20. Well it took me about thirty minutes this morning to realize that that is an 85%, NOT a 70%, which, for some reason, was nailed into the back of my head. Let me just tell you this, my inner struggle with this relatively simple math equation left me nothing but exhausted when it was all over. It was as if I was in a knife fight inside of a Dali painting and I fell into that dammed melting clock. Yeah, that bad.

Then came my laid back, and extremely enjoyable, Thinking and Writing class in the library. Thinking and Writing is a class I most enjoy in a relaxed, chilled-out setting, where me and the other students and our professor can just B.S. After our somewhat boring, and often stupifying, library presentation by the resident librarian, we hung out. I actually got to ask my professor if he "pimped hoes"! Oh I am so proud of that. Luckily and the Prof are tight like that, so we can joke around and not have to worry about things like "being offensive." And then there was my one classmate, who shall go unnamed, so spent about 5 minutes complaining about a magazine because it had no pictures or ads... only to find out that it was a medical journal, something he apparently didn't know existed. Oh sweet sweet ignorance, how I enjoy your presence!

To up the weirdness scale...

I got back to my room and had about an hour of normalcy. Yeah, I got a shower and talked to some folks online, nothing unusual there... of course if every second of the day was weird, then the day as a whole would revert to normalcy... think about that one for a minute!

Lunch was only weird because of the atmosphere. They have all of these beautiful Christmas decorations up in the Lowe Dining Hall... and to just remind us that we are in Seton Hill, and not winter merriment, they filled a fourth of the dining hall with brown boxes filled with more decorations. It's like they are giving us a taste of Christmas, but teasing us with these boxes that contain even MORE Christmas joy... those greedy Grinches. Because of the amount of boxes that they have in Lowe, all of the tables are pushed together, forcing everyone to eat like ants back at the farm.

So then my buddy Steve Clemens ventures up to the cereal stand to get some dessert (because the actual desserts have been lacking for the past few weeks) and what does he come back with? COOKIE CRISP! My word! That is possibly the coolest cereal ever invented, and has quite a Behind the Music storyline:

Narrator: The robber-dog was always up to know good... he rose to his life of celebrity-ism through a major deal with Cookie Crisp cereal. He teamed up with the robber-guy, and together they were a team, constantly being chased by the Officer something. Then, it hit the fan...

Robber-Dog: Well, I started to think about what I was doing. I became a born-again Christian, and I decided to turn face... work on the other side of the law.

Robber-Man: Once I caught him with another man-dog... I knew something wasn't right with him. He was searching for something, and he was very confused and lost.

Officer-Something: I'm just happy to have another guy on the force... sure we will forget about all of the crimes that he has committed... who cares!

... so... yeah Steve had four bowls of that magical cereal, and I had a bowl myself. For dinner, he had three more, and I had another. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Connections wasn't all that weird. Although they finally realized how goofy it is to have an actual final for that class, so instead they made it a take home assignment. Good thinking!

After Connections I made a brief stop at Lynch and then {weirdness cut out, use your imagination... wait, don't do that because then you'll surely put me in some odd sex scene. SICKOS!}. I locked myself in my room and did some work until Ed ran into my door. We hung out and he read some of my Woody Allen books (which he claimed were weird... so that counts as weirdness today) and then we went to dinner.

We all sat at the back table as usual and let the chaos begin. Being good friends with many of the theater majors, it makes for a loud lunch, but its balanced by the suttle voices of my art major friends. Its a mixture that leads to a tepid, slightly loud environment that I much enjoy. Anyways... we denied probability and physics.

I through a banana peel on the ground, and then Josh slipped on it. Moments later, Ed slipped on it, and then I slipped on it (to be funny, ok?). So then Ed was walking to another table and Josh picked it up and tossed it... in a moment of pure Kung Fu films, the banana peel slipped right under Ed's foot as it was hitting the ground, causing him to slip and catch himself on the table. If there was a whooshing noise to accompany what happened, this would have been a perfect moment in history.

After the ruckus ended, I walked outside and saw that a certain friend of mine rearranged the plastic light up reindeer outside of the hall so that two of them are commiting an unmoral act of anal penetration. Wow. That was weird.

I was talking to Steve and Josh in the hallway after dinner, and some kid (who will remain nameless) ran up to us and yelled "EAGLES!" Why? Who knows.. he must be a fan of Hotel California.

So then I went back to {another weird moment editted out, still nothing sexy... at all...} and then I had to go to practice at 8.

Practice consisted of a lot of moments that should not have happened. For example... Josh goes to run out of the theater, but misses the doorknob, which allowed for his body to slam against the door as hard as he could... this caused his Mountain Dew can to fall on the floor and spill. Ed, thinking Mountain Dew was in the can, ran to pick it up. When he drank it he found that it was filled with water, and he did a spit take. Why did this happen? No one knows.

Josh and I related our days, and found then both to be extremely weird. Josh's ended up being a tad weirder because he got hit in the face with a tampon during practice. No worries, it was new.

It's days like this that make you realize you are alive... and you are alive in an insane world. What will tomorrow hold? Well it could either be very joyus and happy, like the day after the Cold War ended. Or it could be madness and chaos, like when Charleton Heston woke up in Omega Man.

I personally wouldn't mind fighting off flesh eating nuclear zombies in Bailey and Maura. Or I could just go to Christmas on the Hill. Same thing, right?

Posted by MikeRubino at December 2, 2003 11:47 PM