Slaying the Beast: The Last "Kiwani Step Outside" Show

I knew my day yesterday was going to be insane. Really, the last performance of any show we do is always crazy... but I had a gut feeling that Friday, April 16th was going to surpass the definition of the word "crazy" and move into "insane" territory. What follows is an unexaggerated account of my Friday, filled with excitement, tension, and triumph.

It all began when I was awakened by a phone call at 10AM. It was my dad, just calling to see what was up. Why he decided to call at 10AM on a Friday morning I haven't the slightest. But moments after I got off the phone with Dad, Joe (a fellow Cellar Dweller and improv buddy) called me:

Joe: We have a problem.
Mike: Oh no... what is it?
Joe: We can't do the show in the auditorium tonight.
(As you may or may not know, the Cellar Dwellers usually perform a show at the CCBC Allied Health Auditorium, a small but acoustically sound auditorium that we rent for a small and reasonable fee)
Mike: Why?
Joe: They booked a piano class in there.

After a few more questions asked, the situation was very clear. There was a continuing education class that was booked in the auditorium. CCBC was claiming that we never confirmed the date for the show, and they booked something over top of it. But in all fairness, they were going to put our show in one of the library conference rooms -- a room that could hold 180 people, but was basically a flat classroom... not a theater! That would never work, and we couldn't do this show in a crappy classroom. And thus we sprung into action.

I immediately got a shower. When I got out, I called back Joe (who, while I was in the shower, called CCBC back to get the name of the teacher who was holding the class. Perhaps he could move it himself.) who had met with little luck at CCBC. They were still pointing the finger at us, and we were pointing it right back. But that wasn't going to solve the problem of the show, which was now nine hours away. We needed to do something, we needed to negotiate and plan. After speaking with Joe, I called my dad (who has more contacts than Baush & Laum) to see what he could do. He was able to get me the name of the head of the continuing education department. He also was able to find out that he wouldn't be in his office until 2:30.

I then called Joe back, but now HE was taking a shower... so I spoke with James (another Dweller) who was just finishing up his workout at the YMCA. We spoke about the situation, and then tried to get a hold of Joe.

Joe: What's the plan
Mike: (Name of CED guy) is going to be in his office at 2:30. I am coming back to Beaver County now...
Joe: Great, meet me at Cafe Kolache at 1:30. Tell James.

I quickly packed my laundry and my Kill Bill DVD and ran to my car, along the way running into Josh (Setonian and Cellar Dweller). I quickly ran through the situation with him, and then hopped in my car. I spoke with James while driving on Rt. 30 and told him to meet us at Kolache. The plans were now in motion, and I was now on the turnpike.

I made it to Cafe Kolache straight from SHU at exactly 1:35. Joe and James were already in there eating. We sat and talked about what we were going to tell ... and then we all started freaking out when the Dark Roast Kenyan Coffee was all out. Of course we cooled out when they brought out another pot. At 2:00 we drove to my house, all hopped in my car and drove to CCBC.

We spoke with about the scheduling problem. He was an extremely nice and helpful man, who actually knew who the Cellar Dweller were. He showed us that there was a miscommunication between the Dwellers and CCBC over the booking dates. He also explained to us that the teacher who was coming to teach this piano class had paid to rent out the auditorium, and he was driving from Minnesota! But, there was a chance... the room we were being moved to had a piano already in it. Not only that, but it was a brand new baby grand piano! So, the only way we could get the auditorium back was we would to convince this guy to switch us rooms.

It seemed as if a lot of the people on CCBC's campus were pulling for us. While there, the three of us met with an AV Janitor who first noticed the scheduling conflict. He was also the man who set up the Library Conference room so that we could better woo the piano instructor. We also met with Alice, a security guard and fan of the Dwellers. She was informed of the situation, and was intent on helping us fix this problem. Our mission now, was to intercept the instructor when he arrived around 5:30, and convince him to switch us rooms.

I went back to my house, because I was yet to eat a full meal. Joe went to his house to pick up his laptop, which had been attacked by 16 trojan horses earlier in the week and was undergoing a full system scan. James went to our theater at the Beaver Valley Bowl to pick up the props. We contacted Larry, Chris and Josh and told them to meet us at 5pm at the auditorium.

I got to the auditorium at 5, and when I pulled up, Joe, James and Chris came running out of the building, screaming for me to get back in the car and drive.

Joe: Get back in the car! We have to go!
Mike: What? Why?
James: The piano teacher is flipping out. He saw these signs that said the class was moved, and no one had talked to him.
Joe: He saw us and said that if we didn't leave he was calling security. We have to leave!
Mike: Look, let me go in there and talk to him, maybe we can reason with him!
Joe: No!... never mind, we are just kidding.

Apparently, when they got there at 5, the teacher had already been there and moved to the library! He was totally happy in the other room, and didn't care at all. Better yet, we didn't have to do anything! It was a miracle! So we spent the rest of our time setting up for the show, playing hacky sack, eating Wendy's and just enjoying ourselves.

The show itself went wonderfully. We had a handful of Lions Club guys show up to check it out. They might be hiring us for their State-wide banquet in August! This was the biggest show we have ever had at CCBC, pulling in over 100 people. It was a crazy-success!

After the show was over, we hurried and packed everything up... we had another show to do! It was a Friday Night, and as you know we do improv every Friday (EVERY FRIDAY) at the Beaver Valley Bowl in Rochester. And off we went.

When I pulled up to the Bowl, I was met with an incredibly weird image. There were about 30 kids, all of which looked to be the age of 15-17, outside in the parking lot... and two of them had boxing gloves on! They were street boxing! What the hell was going on? And should I be betting money on this? Ignoring that, I rushed upstairs to the third floor, where I found that we had an audience of about 40-50 people, waiting for more Dwellers to show up (we had sent Matt and James over ahead of time to open the doors... but when I got there,they were just standing on stage heckling the audience). Improv went very well there too! We were all pretty tired, and a little unprepared, but I think everyone had a good time. And we all learned a valuable lesson.

And so, another Dweller show is behind me. This show was a pretty big one for us, and it was also one of the better ones we have done. We got two new cast members, some sweet shirts, and a whole lot of new fans. Time to start working on our shows in June!

Posted by MikeRubino at April 17, 2004 12:00 PM