What my generations has become...

What has happened with our youth today? Being a card carrying member of today's youth, I am sort of ashamed of the youngins that are coming along behind me. I'm talking about highschoolers, gradeschoolers, and just kids in general. Some might argue that they are just being "kids" but I say they are acting ridiculous. Am I just being an old man again, or am I on to something? Well you can decide.

Probably the worst images I have of youth come from two specific times and locations: Friday night at Kings Family Restaurant and Movie World. Of course there are numerous other places I see these punks, and have experienced them to the full effect. Unfortunately, due to my small statue and deceivingly young look, I sometimes pass for one of them. Not something I'm particularly proud of.

Last summer, me and my best high school chums spent every Friday night shooting the breeze at Kings, a 24-hour family restaurant. The waitresses there came to know us, and our drink orders, and it was the best way for the four-six of us to get to sit down and talk. This, of course, was quickly spoiled as the atmosphere at Kings took a disgusting turn for the worse. Down the street from the restaurant is a dance hall. And that summer, there was a high school dance every friday until 10 or 11 at night. The dances were, as far as we could tell, were for any of the public school kids from the surrounding school districts. And so at around 10:30 or 11:30, hoards of hellions would flood the eatery. They stormed in, loud and obnoxious, screaming sexual innuendoes and profanities that one just does not say too loud in a "family restaurant." And of course, the girls of the groups were wearing clothing that made Jodie Foster from Taxi Driver look conservative. I just wanted to walk over and hand those girls a napkin to drape over themselves so they could at least have more clothing on than a nude in my figure drawing class. The boys all had on fifty pound jeans, ball caps that apparently were unable to sit straight on their heads, and enough "ice" to pity Mr. T himself. The waitresses in the establishment immediately became annoyed and angry, however their dedication to my posse never wavered. And actually, each evening, the waitresses thanked us for being so polite and well-behaved. Sometimes they just assumed we were with the rest of the "hooligans."

Then there is the movie theater. I have had many-a-run-in with kids there. And you can always see it coming a mile away. A group of kids has a friend who is 17, or they get some sucker dead-beat parents to take them, and get into an R-rated movie. And then they sit there and laugh and talk and let everyone in the theater know they are alive. As much as I thank them for cluing me in to their ability to breathe and process thought, I would much rather they do it somewhere below the decibel level of a bull horn. After a while of putting up with it, or letting others speak out, I have finally began standing up for myself in the theaters. I am not afraid to yell at people. Why? Because I paid eight freaking dollars to see this movie, and no pubescent-peaking-punk is going to ruin that for me. The best example of my newfound courage was in Kill Bill Vol.2. Kids in the theater, a small group to the far right, decided that they wanted to blabber on the whole time about funny innuendoes like the word "stick" or "rack." And while some adults were shushing them, it wasn't really working. That's when I decided to yell (in my crackly, and un-authoritative voice) "Hey, shut the hell up!" Well, the children decided to respond with an F-bomb just slightly smaller than Little Boy. Fortunately for me, others in the crowd decided that I was right, and they started yelling as well.

I would like to point out that I was never like this as a highschooler or gradeschooler. And I'm so very glad that I wasn't, because now I can't be called a hypocrite.

The most confounding aspect of all of this is: when did these kids lose their self-respect and consideration for how they themselves look to the public? Don't these children realize that the reason adults come down on them so hard is because they look retarded? They are yelling, screaming, and bothering folks who want nothing to do with them. Teens always demand respect, but who would ever want to respect a group of people who chase each other, full speed, around a 24-hour diner?

The worst is a child's need to ask strangers embarrassing questions for their own amusement. What ever happened to "don't talk to strangers"? And yet, I can't think of how many times I have walked places, and kids either my age or younger feel the need to ask me something. "Hey man, what are you listening to on your CD player?" "How old are you, because you look 12" "How tall are you?" Hey, shut up. I don't walk up to these kids and say "Excuse me, youngin, but do you still think women have cooties?" or "How old are you? Because I would guess 14, but that dirty-sanchez mustache leads me to believe you are at least 24."

Just a few nights ago, my friend, my brother, and I were enjoying the lovely evening weather by riding our Razor scooters around the neighborhood. Yes, I realize that kids ride scooters, but who cares they are fun sometimes (and I got one cheap, cheap I tell you!). Regardless of the scooter demographic, we were breaking society's conventions and enjoying ourselves. That's when two children, roughly 13-15 came by on their bikes.

"Hey, how old are you guys?" one kid calls out.
"Who, us?" Pops, my friend, responds.
"Yeah, you!" the other says.
"18." I yell back.
"18 and you guys are riding scooters? What is your problem!" they said as they ride away.
"Well, at least we are going to make something of ourselves some day," my brother calls out. Ah Danny, he has been raised well.

But really, who would just go out and do that? You have to have some set of balls (excuse the French... no really, just excuse them, they are morons) to go up to total strangers and say such things. I would never go up to an elderly man and ask him why he is driving a Corvette, when I think they are clearly made for 20-somethings.

Kids these days... sheesh.