Social Ettiquette Vol.3- Don't take dogfood from strangers
I encountered alot of strange people during my visit to the Westmoreland Mall yesterday-- moreso than normal. From the workers at Express Men asking us, "Are you going to buy something, or just make fun of the clothes?" to some girl at the cookie store discovering that she knows a friend of ours from Seton Hill. The most interesting experience while at the mall was our stop at the dog food kiosk.
You may have seen these kiosks before. They are a fancy, primarily brown, high-brow dog treat store that could easily be confused with a cookie stand. They are growing in popularity all over the country, as dogs become more demanding and their sweet tooth grows larger.
The four of us were walking past the stand, looking it over but not really taking time to stop. I leaned over to Paul and said "Hey, I'll give you a dollar if you walk over to the dog treat stand, buy a treat, and say 'I love these cookies!!!' and eat it right in front of her."
Paul thought about it for a second, but then said "No way!" We then decided that the dare was to be passed along to Josh, who didn't want to do it either. Before we knew it, we had been standing there for over a minute, arguing over who was going to go eat some dog food. Suddenly we hear a voice, a voice from what seemed to be Heaven:
"You guys ever eat dog food before?"
We looked around, trying to see who had said that. I could see this was quickly turning into an after-school special. "Huh?" the feminine voice called out. That's when we spotted the clerk working at the dog treat store. She was calling us out!
The four of us walked over there, and she continued her routine. "These treats are for dogs, but people eat them all the time. Here, try one." She reached down into the glass case and pulled out what appeared to be a small chocolate treat. Of course, it wasn't real chocolate, due to the fact that dogs can't eat real chocolate... I'm not sure what happens when they do, but I hear they explode.
Josh took a bite of the chocolate, and turned to us. "Wow, this is really good!" he said. He ate the rest of the treat and began striking up a conversation with this clerk. She continued to sell Josh in the idea of buying gourmet dog treats for his canine. She showed him all sorts of cinnamon sticks and sweet treats.
"How much are these?" Josh asked.
"Oh they are cheap.. we sell them by the pound," she replied. "Those dog treats you had are pretty cheap. You should treat your friends to some of them!"
Oh what a sales pitch! But how could Josh argue with her... he could buy three of them for 23 cents. And of course, being a man of good values, Josh took her up on the offer, and bought us eat a dog treat. And like the suckers we are, ate away. But I will say, it was delicious. It tasted just like chocolate! And better yet, I was fully expecting to be doubled over within the hour with bowel pains, but I walked away a happy camper.
We left the Westmoreland Mall that day different men. Different from the people we were going into that place. We had dog food in us... and we didn't regret a thing.
Posted by MikeRubino at October 7, 2004 10:49 AM