Pimping Hoes in College

"You have to make sure the hoes have enough crack and condoms to last them."
"Snap! I need to get more beer for my thugs, they aren't as happy as they should be."
"Okay guys, it's time for another home invasion!"

These are the phrases coming from the Boss over the past week. Have we all joined the likes of Iceberg Slim and The Mack? Well, only in the digital sense. We've recently become virtual online pimps, selling love and initiating drive-by shootings. It's an ingenious managerial simulation that not only teaches you how to organize and prioritize, but also street smarts.

It all began when Pawl told us about an online text game called Idle Pimps. Similar to the popular high school calculator game "Drug Wars" it was a simple interface in which you bought supplies, recruited thugs, and deployed hoes. It's a competition between over 2000 pimps, all fighting for the sweet sweet hooker-cash. You work your way up the ranks, turning tricks and increasing your worth, and at the same time you're attacking other players.

The system is rather simple. You start out with a preset number of turns, and everything you do will use up your turns. First you have to build up supplies. You can buy such life necessities as beer and marijuana (which keeps your thugs happy) and condoms and crack (which keeps your hoes happy). You also have to buy AK-47 machine guns, Kevlar vests, and Low riders, all of which go towards the effectiveness of your thugs. Once you've got enough supplies, you start turning tricks. As master pimp, you're in charge of telling your hoes where and for how long to work the streets. The longer they're out there the more money they bring back! Then again, you have to have enough crack and condoms, otherwise they go insane and die. I tell ya, the realism in this game is unparalleled.

After Pawl, Josh, and Puff all got into the game, they quickly roped me and a few other off-campus folks in. Pretty soon we were practically a corporation. We all started a gang together (of course it was called "The Boss") and started tearing up the charts. Josh and Puff were the leaders of the gang, managing us like it was a business. Josh would come by our computers in the dorm to see how our tricks were coming, and if we needed anything. We organized attacks together. We planned a company Christmas party.

The moral and economic values that this game instills you with are something that you can't learn in school (alright, maybe in a public school). It's something that has to be experienced and practiced, trial and error and all that jazz.

Recently we've moved on to a new game. It's called Pimp War. It's a more complex, more detailed version of the Idle Pimp template. You could say it's the Advanced Dungeons & Dragons to the normal D&D that folks are used to.

These are games that not only entertain but teach. And really, isn't that the best kind of game? And so, I recommend you check it out. Look up The Boss, and get ready to "pimp dem hoes!"