Part 2: 40 Million Dollars and All I Got was a Lousy Shirt

Now for the suspenseful conclusion of my day in Washington D.C...

(And in case you missed it, here's part 1)

The Aftermath- 12:45 approx

Once the ceremony ended, I ventured on my own to get back together with Chris, who was wandering around in the Mall. The plan was to meet at the Letter Carrier building, half a block from the ceremony. I accidentally made a wrong turn and ended up walking straight into a protesting demonstration right next to the parade floats (which were currently inactive and goofy), and then couldn't figure out how to get out of there! I was walking around trying to remember where that building was, all the while freaking out (quietly) because my cell phone wasn't working.

But after a few moments and a dose of "on the right track" I found the rendezvous point, and Chris waiting for me. Getting to where I needed to go proved to be more difficult than it should have been thanks to the barriers around the city, a theme that would become increasingly repetitive as the day goes on.

Since the inauguration was pretty much over, we moved on to our second objective: see some monuments. But of course this proved to be increasingly difficult thanks to the barricades and the parade, which was set to start in two hours. Chris and I walked around like mice in a maze for almost two hours, going in circles through an eight-block radius. And then like a cruel joke, they would change the barriers, closing some areas and opening up others. It was like a fun house or a crazy game of Labyrinth. To make matters crazier, protesters started emerging from all corners of the city, sort of like zombies in "Thriller."

The Protesters' Greatest Hits!

We encountered alot of protesters in D.C. (not as many as I heard that showed up in 2000, but still a good bit) and definitely made sure to interact with them. Amazingly, about 90% of them were ADMITTED socialists, something that not only disturbed me greatly, but allowed me to laugh at them even more.

Some of the funnier protester moments:
-a man standing strongly with a huge "HILLARY 2008" banner, and a milk crate filled with self-made bumper stickers for the far-left New York senator.
-even crazier, a girl with a [Barbara] "Boxer for President" bumper sticker on her back. Oh the shivers that were sent down my spine!
-a man who looked homeless (or at least crrrazy, with three R's) holding a sign that said "George Let 9/11 Happen." Not only is that a ridiculous thing to say (and I've had crazy people try to tell me that before) but it brought this poor crazy fellow so much trouble. Passersby, probably not even here for the inauguration, would just scream at the man because of the things he was supposing. I just had to sit back and laugh.
-then there was the fellow who had a really long sign saying something to the effect of "I was declared dead on the day I had my heart attack and they cancelled my checks." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but then again if you were out protesting today you can't be that smart to begin with.
-A woman wearing a sandwich board that just said "War Criminal." She never really says who is a war criminal, and since she is wearing it, I was pretty sure she was guilty.
-A guy who holds up a sign that reads "Bush Cut $$$ for the Poor!" But the guy held it so that his thumb blocked the extender on the R, allowing it to read "Bush Cut $$$ for the Poop!" Chris and I had a good time chanting that one.
-And of course the crazy kids who brought their own cardboard casket, complete with American flag to drape over top of it. If that's not disrespectful I don't know what is... oh wait, yes I do.

There were so many other hilarious, and pointless, protesters there that I am going to have to make a blog entry with all of them. Somday.

Some Scuffles?

On one of our trips down one of the familiar streets (they all look the same), we found ourselves amongst about 40 police officers. They weren't just standing around eating donuts either, they were suiting up for something fierce. The officers were putting on riot gear (helmets, vests, night sticks, ass-stomping boots). While this initially sparking something off in my head saying "Follow these dudes!" I didn't actually hear about what happened until later.

After a bit of walking and frustration, Chris decided that we should hop in a random line of people. This line turned out to be a security check point to get access to the parade route. A good call on his part, since I didn't even know if I was going to get to see the parade.

While we were standing in line, we got to hear a few interesting things regarding those fellows in riot gear. Apparently somewhere around the city a group of protesters got a little out of hand, and The Man stepped in and put down a "hurtin'" on them. The protesters were all tear gassed and apparently (according to the guy who was telling the story) a small boy got accidentally maced in the face. As gruesome as that sounds, I could do nothing but laugh really hard. Oh how I would have loved to see that! A few other folks back home told me they had heard about the small riot on the news amongst the inaugural reporting. Unfortunately all I was able to gather was second hand info.

After getting through the security checkpoint, I found myself amidst a sea of anti-Bush protesters. And just when I thought all hope was lost, out of the checkpoint, like knights of the round table riding white horses of common sense, came Protest Warriors. Protest Warriors are a conservative group that uses intelligence and sarcastic wit to defeat the liberal sign-waving machine. To put it simply: they protest protesters.

And they charged in with great signs that at first confused the protesters. Many just stared at the signs, asking each other "Wait, are they serious? Or is that some kind of joke?" And pretty soon the hoard of anti-war leftists started one of their hypocritical chants: "Bigot, Racist, Anti-Gay! Right-winged hate group go away!" The funniest part of all this is that the Protest Warriors say nothing, they don't respond or yell back, they just stand there and take it... which makes the crazy socialists look absolutely ridiculous.

The Parade- 2:30 approx

We squeezed our way past a construction sight and into a nice little pouch of folks near the beginning of the parade route. It wasn't until we got there and started looking around did we realize that the majority of these folks were socialist pigs (aka protesters.) Also near us was a CNN reporter and camera man, which would explain the specific location for the protesters. The sign-wavers started chanting at the police and marching bands that passed by, like they had any say in "Sending our Troops Home." Some other great chants were:

-"Hey Bush what do you say, how many kids did you kill today?"
-"Bush lied kids died"
-"Send the troops home"
-"Support our troops!"
-"Support our troops, send them home"

Even funnier was when the dignitaries began driving by. In front of me was the "War Criminal" woman, as mentioned earlier.

(Trent Lott drives by)
War Criminal: Oh he's a criminal!
(Dennis Hastert drives by)
War Criminal: He's a total criminal!
(Event Coordinator drives by)
War Criminal: I don't know who he is
Me: I'm pretty sure he's a criminal too.
War Criminal: ....

The parade was very cool, aside from these protesters bent on ruining my day. Chris and I were right up towards the front of the crowd, coming within about 15 feet of the President's limo. There were also trucks carrying loads of news reporters and camera men, filming the crowd and the floats. After the President passed, waving to everyone from inside the black Cadillac limo, we began making our way out of the parade.

Along the way out of the parade, Chris took the time to yell at a protester who was holding a sign regarding the troops' support of the President. After informing the girl that the majority of the soldiers in the armed forces voted for Bush, he was told that he was an "asshole who didn't know what he was talking about." And so another woman stepped in to back up Chris, but the 18 year old protester claimed to know more than both of them, stating "Who argues with someone younger than them! You don't know what you are talking about!" After laughing, Chris and I went to try and find a baby to argue with...

Back to the City, for the last time- 5:00

After leaving the parade we attempted to resume our quest for the monuments, unfortunately we found out that the monuments were actually closed for the day. That's when I realized that we had not sat down all day, and had not eaten since our free continental breakfast at 6am.

Just when we were about to head back to the Metro, having not seen any building or monument of any historical importance (aside from the Capitol), we stumbled upon Ford's Theater. It's a small, quiet little theater just a few blocks from Pennsylvania Avenue. It's also the place were Lincoln was shot! We made sure to take a few pictures, and then head on our way to the Metro.

We headed back to Union Station and caught the Metro back to Rockville...

Our journey to D.C. was complete (well, after we stopped at the Longhorn Steakhouse and got over 30 oz. of steak between the two of us). The President that we worked so hard to re-elect was now in for another term, and we had a great time bringing him in.

Stay tuned for Part 3: The Photo Album.

Posted by MikeRubino at January 23, 2005 9:00 PM | TrackBack