Greensburg > "Black and Goldsburg"

What event in our area's history would cause a number of major cities to change their names? Why, the local national football team making the Super Bowl could. In fact, the Steelers going to the Super Bowl could make alot of people do alot of crazy things. Not even a full moon on Friday the 13th has as much effect on people in this area as this silly game does.

I've been fine with the "Steelers-fever" up until this week, when things have gone a little overboard. When the city I go to school in changed its name to "Black and Goldsburg," all I could think about was that goalie from Mighty Ducks... or Rube Goldburg... or Goldberg the professional wrestler. And then all I could think about was how confused everyone will be, and how silly the court records and parking tickets distributed this weekend are going to look. "The court will now hear the case of John Smith versus the city of 'Black and Goldsburg'."

What the heck were they thinking? Who renames a town on a whim?

In fact, I think the mayor of Greensburg should be thrown out of office. This is obviously a blatant use of executive order! Nothing screams "power hungry" like the wanton changing of your town's name. That would be like me becoming mayor of Pittsburgh and changing it to "Pensopolis" just because I like the Penguins. Or Dr. Boyle temporarily changing the name of Seton Hill to "Steeler School University." Steeler School University is a terrible name for a place of higher learning, even if it was only for a weekend.

Because they changed the name of the city for the weekend, does this mean that all of the road signs will also have to be changed? Will it say "Black and Goldsburg Next 6 Exits" on Route 30 this weekend? I would also like the know if I address a letter to Black and Goldsburg, will it actually make it? These are logistics I don't think the mayor carefully thought out. Instead, he rushed outside to meet the hoards of Steeler fans cheering, egging him on to change the name of the town. I'm sure he had to really wrestle with is cabinet over this one, and he surely used up a good portion of his political capital. And yet, the question must be asked... why not name the town "Rothlisberg" instead?

All I know is this... I refuse to live in Black and Goldsburg. I'm very pleased to say that I will not be residing in this city during this rather embarrassing period of identity crisis. I will return to "Greensburg"-- in all of its green-ness-- Monday, once everything has calmed down.

That is, unless large celebratory (or angry, depending on the outcome of the game) riots break out in town... in which case I'll be coming back to Ransacked and On Fire Burg.