A Mouth Full of Franklins

I can't, for the live of me, figure out when I will ever need to use the "money-mouth" emoticon in iChat or AOL Instant Messenger. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, it's :-$ which looked something like this: . I know people have written about some of the more ridiculous icons before, but this is the only one I can't even fathom an understanding for.

"Put your money where your mouth is"? That is what the forums seem to have decided. But why did AIM find it necessary to include an emoticon to say that? Who says that? The grand masters of emoticonnery sat down one afternoon and chose for us the most common expressions that we would need to quickly release while chatting online. The smile. The half-smile. The frown. The frown with tears. The smile with halo. The tongue out. The zipper mouth(?) And then there's this monstrosity.

Not every program uses this crazy dollar sign mouth man, but I don't use every program (so who cares?). I've never used this dollar mouth in a conversation, except when being a moron and trying to shoe-horn every emoticon in on one line. But I will attempt, right now, to come up with a conversation that may absolutely require its use.

xxTina06xx: hey, sup?
balls2walls69472: nm u?
xxTina06xx: can i ask you a favor?
balls2walls69472: y
xxTina06xx: can you call the cops?
balls2walls69472: what!?!?!?!? lol!
xxTina06xx: im being robbed here @ the office
balls2walls69472: serisouly?
xxTina06xx: ya dude
balls2walls69472: wtf?
xxTina06xx: just do it, bf they come and tie me up!
balls2walls69472:how many ppl r robbing u?
xxTina06xx: 13
balls2walls69472: dag
xxTina06xx: i kno! wtf?
balls2walls69472: i cant call the cops til i get offline
xxTina06xx: hurry! they're gagging me with money
balls2walls69472: what?
xxTina06xx: :-$
balls2walls69472: oooh, i understand.

That's about the only reason I can understand using that emoticon. But then again, if you work in an office that could be robbed by thieves who would stuff a roll of Franklins in your mouth to keep you from screaming, then it's perfectly useful. I guess it could also be used by someone who just got up from having a wallet shoved in their mouth during a seizure. But why would that person be online before taking the wallet out?

I can think of so many better emotions I need to express through smiley faces. These may include (but are not limited to):
:-] lockjaw
:-{) curly mustache
:-&) curlier mustache
:-F crooked wax vampire fangs
:-?) lopsided curly mustache
:--) Hitler mustache
:-~ Pride

I'm way better than the emoticonnery elders.