Atlas Lugged

It seems fitting that there is an image of Atlas carrying the world on the cover of Ayn Rand's classic "Atlus Shrugged." Sure his name is in the title, and has been on the cover of every edition of the book I can remember... but that's not why it's fitting. It's fitting because the book is really as heavy and cumbersome as the world. When you are reading this thing you literally become Atlas, doomed to lug this beast around for what seems like eternity.

I recently started this free-market epic, and I'm enjoying it so far... aside from the fact that it's like carrying a brick with me wherever I take it. The Centennial Edition of the book is 1,080 thinner-than-Bible-paper pages. The margins are tiny, the leading of the text is almost non-existent, and the page numbers almost melt into the last line of type on each page; it's clear that someone had to work to get this mammoth work of prose into a paperback format.

I try to read throughout the day, but thus far I've been pretty lax (although really, to get through this book in a reasonable amount of time, I'm going to have to pick up the pace). Usually I read at night before bed. I read pretty much like everyone else when they lie in bed: with the book resting on my chest. While that may work for most hardbacks (I often hold the trade paperbacks) "Atlas" nearly ceases airflow to the lungs! And if there is any inspiration to read the first half quickly, it's that holding the book while working on the first twenty pages is just awkward. Starting "Atlas" is like holding a Velveeta block of cheese by the first slice!

There needs to be some sort of invention to aid people in reading this text. Either a weird harness or pillow-like pedestal to hold down the book comfortably. The invention, whatever the heck it is, wouldn't just be for "Atlas Shrugged," either, it could be used for Rand's other work "The Fountainhead," and perhaps other classicly overlong books like "The Brothers Karamazov" and "War and Peace." Better yet, why not split the book up into three smaller books and package them together in a box? "Atlas" is already divided into three parts; Rand has done the work for you! Sure, I could ruin my copy of the book by doing the very thing I'm suggesting... but I don't like messing up books.

Maybe this will actually help me. Maybe by carrying around "Atlas" I'll get muscle definition (I'll start with a noun). And then, maybe I'll stop asking "Why am I having trouble breathing?" and start asking "Who is John Galt?"