Riding the Red Eye

Each morning, when I work in Pittsburgh, I find a way to start the day with coffee. Sometimes I brew it at home, other times I make a pit stop at a Starbucks, Panera's, or the local drive-thru coffee hut. And yet on that rare occasion when I have to get gas and coffee in one stop, I go for Sheetz.

Sheetz has been serving gas station coffee since the very beginning, but only recently did they install the "espresso bar." While skeptical at first, I was pleasantly surprised to see them install a high-end espresso machine and actually serve fresh coffee drinks. Sure it's not as good as having something hand-crafted by a barista, but it's still better than most gas stations.

Usually at Sheetz, I'll get an Americano, since it's cheap and still fresher than the coffee they have sitting out; today, however, I decided to go a little nuts. The heavy rain and the dense atmosphere was wreaking havoc on my sinuses, and I needed that extra dose of coffee to make it all go away: I got a Red Eye.

This beast, like Satan, goes by many names. At Sheetz, they call it a "Red Alert," at BFCaT, they call it an "Italian Car Bomb." I just call it an eye opener. For the uninformed, a red eye is a double shot of espresso mixed with a cup of coffee. It's like drinking 2-3 cups of coffee in a single dose. I had never had one before, but I had heard tales of their caffeinated-treachery. Well, this morning I had one... and it was awesome.

About half-way thru the red eye, did it all begin to hit me... my eyes lit up as my legs began to grow restless; I sat at my desk designing away with a flurry of mouse clicks and shortcut keystrokes; I began to suddenly hear techno music, like out of Run, Lola, Run and I was off at the races; fireworks began lighting up the room as a dozen dolphins dove all around me with firecrackers in their mouths; trumpets blared the theme song to the Green Hornet; and the walls of my office melted away in a tidal wave of molten steel sparks... I had finished the red eye. It was awesome.

I don't think this is something I could order every day, and I wouldn't be surprised if this was enough coffee to last me all day, but it's good in a pinch. I can see myself ordering a red eye before a Cellar Dweller show, or if I ever need to run on foot to Johnstown to hand-deliver a package.