Hypothetical Representations of an NHL Game with Play-by-Play on Versus
Reality: Sidney Crosby skates down the left wall into Flyers territory, banks the puck off the far corner to Gonchar who fires one from the blue line right past Marty Biron!
VS Commentary: Sidney Crosby has really been facing a lot of adversity as of late. Mainly because they say he's a diver and a winer. There may be some truth to that based off of the reports we received from the Flyers bench. The Penguins scored.
Reality: Malkin is coming off the bench for the penalty kill, when Marion Hossa sends him a two-line pass into the Flyer's zone. Malkin, all alone on the breakaway skates up to Biron and fires a blistering slapshot eight feet from the goal!
VS Commentary: You know what's funny about Mike Richards? He's good friends with Mike Modano from the Dallas Stars. Both of those guys are named Mike, but with very different last names. It's amazing that people from such different families can still be friends. And the Dallas Stars used to be called the Northstars when they were in Minnesota. I guess when they moved south, they had to drop the "north!" The Penguins scored again.
Reality: After copious amounts of trash talk exchanged prior to faceoff, Tyler Kennedy and Scottie Upshall decide to drop the gloves and fight. Kennedy is like a wild ferret, throwing punches left and right. The fight is so ferocious that the second the two players fall to the ice, they spring back up and keep at it. Eventually, they tire and are escorted to the penalty box for 5 minutes each.
VS Commentary: You're watching the NHL on Versus in high definition! Make sure you tune in tomorrow night for the next match in the Detroit and Dallas series. Boy, is that a great series or what? I mean, both teams are evenly matched, and neither are as cocky as those Penguins. Don't you just hate that the Penguins are so good? Man... talk about excessive excellence. Oh well, at least the two teams in this Eastern Conference Final come from towns with great signature sandwiches. I'm talking about, of course, the Philly Cheesesteak and the Pittsburgh ham sandwich. That's it, right? The ham sandwich? We go now to a bar in Philadelphia, where fans are cheering for some reason! Did something just happen on the ice?
Reality: The shot clock is winding down, and the Rangers have pulled their goalie. The blueshirts are trying to set something up in the Penguins' zone, but the puck is stolen by Jordan Staal! He skates it into the neutral zone and shoots is calmly into the Ranger's net for his second empty-net goal of the playoffs.
VS Commentary: This VS broadcast has been brought to you by Amp'd Energy drink. From all of us here at the VS Network, we're really glad you found us and were able to tune in. Thanks a whole lot. Seriously, that's really great of you for sticking around. Get it? I sticking around? Eh? Eh? The game is over now, and I think the score changed at the end.
Posted by MikeRubino at May 12, 2008 10:14 AM | TrackBack