Eviction Notice

To: Current Facebook User
From: Facebook

We regret to inform you that you have hereby been evicted from your present domain. We feel that your current home for social networking is in need of dire renovations. We agree with you that your orderly, form-filling nature was a refreshing change from the chaotic world of MySpace, but you are currently out of date. Your interface has been bogged down with pokes, prods, flair, and countless other useless spam applications that have muddied the waters and made for an unsafe and undesirable atmosphere.

We, here at Facebook, have decided to renovate your network. Don't worry, this will come with no cost to you, aside from your patience. We are getting rid of the simple, scroll-able page layout, and replacing it with tabs that won't be confusing or muddled at all. We're also going to greatly enhance the bottom toolbar that we installed last update, making the entire website feel even more like the beloved Windows operating system. Now you can access all of your favorite applications, and chat with people, all with the click of some buttons. And since the biggest Fall fashion this year is redundancy, we're including links to your applications on the top menu bar and an extra large side bar. The sky's the limit for our residents!

We're so confident that you'll like the changes, that we will be making the previous setup of your network completely unreachable. No need to worry about sending feedback or telling us about your concerns; while we certainly provide you with the means to do so, we're simply going to ignore them.

And the best part of all, as we mentioned, this will come at no cost to you! We are able to provide these worthy updates to you thanks to our friendly and responsible sponsors, who file away your information after paying us a finders fee!

Again, we hope you enjoy the new Facebook... because afterall, if you don't like it, there's always MySpace.