The Future Turnpike

This past weekend was the last time Kennywood's classic ride, The Turnpike, would be in operation. If you've ever been to Kennywood, you'll recall it's that noisy track filled with jalopies right when you emerge from the tunnel into the park. The ride will be replaced with some newfangled roller coaster.

Thankfully, the Turnpike will be reconstructed elsewhere within the park by 2010. This will give Kennywood, with the help of the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation, plenty of time to bring the ride up to the current trends of highway travel.

First and foremost, each jalopy will be outfitted with an E-ZPass, allowing riders to quickly enter and exit the ride without having to come to a complete stop. For decades, the ride has been plagued with curiously long lines—hopefully this will resolve that problem.

The old Turnpike ride was known for its calming, leisurely pace, allowing young couples to gaze into each other's eyes and fall in love (under the careful watch of Kennywood employees, of course). In keeping with current PA transportation trends, the new ride will have a varying speed of 75 to 15 miles per hour, with cars occasionally coming to a complete stop. The skeleton band, who has been out of work since the Old Mill was converted into a Garfield ride, have been hired as a road crew who will make minor, seemingly unnoticeable, changes to the ride over the course of 20 years.

Last but not least, halfway through the ride, park visitors will get to stop at a miniature Breezewood. From there, they can get on a second Turnpike ride that will take them to Baltimore, or they can just take the time to get out of the car, stretch their legs, and buy a Cinnabon that they'll later regret.

Since its inception, Kennywood has been constantly changing and upgrading its rides. The previously mentioned Old Mill has become a new Garfield ride. The once great Gold Rush is now a haunted house with lasers. The Le Cachot is... just a building with carnival games in it (they can't all be upgrades). Well here's hoping that this new Turnpike ride will capture the spirit of the road just like the old one did!