Via is Latin for Road!

So Starbucks unveiled their new instant coffee today called Via. The world didn't end, the Seattle Space Needle didn't launch into the atmosphere, and Crystal Pepsi didn't suddenly return to store shelves. When I was in Starbucks this morning, ordering a red eye, I couldn't help but notice the small boxes of little packets flanking me on all sides. Standing in the corner of the store was a barista with a diminutive table and tiny cups. Man, everything felt so small in there... except for my red eye, which was a large.

I've said many times on this blog that I have no problem with Starbucks. The chain fills a coffee void in my life, offering a little bit of consistency and later hours than most local places. Of course, their coffee isn't nearly as good as a local or regional shop, but it beats going to McDonalds. When I heard Starbucks was developing a line of instant coffee, I was skeptical. Especially since it's name means "road." Road coffee.

To digress for just a moment, I have to come clean to all coffee drinkers out there: I've had my share of instant coffee. In college, when Nestle first rolled out their Taster's Choice travel packets (think Crystal Light with coffee), I would keep packets in my backpack. Dumping one or two of those into a mug in the dining hall was a much better alternative than drinking the Aramark Oil they regularly brewed. Still Taster's Choice is awful, and has gone virtually unchanged since it showed up around World War II. It's freeze-dried coffee probably better used as a baking ingredient than anything else. I was surprised to hear that instant coffee accounts for about 40% of global coffee sales--while only about 7% of Americans drink the stuff.

So how could a more expensive Starbucks version be any different? They claim to have been working on this formula, which combines soluble coffee with micro-ground beans, for over two decades. Seriously, two decades? So it took them almost my entire life to come up with a new kind of instant coffee. I had to try it.

Thankfully, that barista wasn't just standing over by all these small things for her health. She was there to challenge me to a taste test. I gladly accepted. She pulled out two tiny paper cups and filled them with coffee from two unmarked, regular sized, carafes. The dude in front of my had tried his luck, and guessed wrong. I had flashbacks to when my dad brought home our first can of Crystal Pepsi and we had a blind taste test in our kitchen. I don't remember if I got that right or not... either way, I was going for a home run this time.

At first glance, both looked about the same. I assume they paired the instant coffee (which comes in two flavors, Italian and Columbian) with their Pike Place blend (a roast of coffee that has gotten steadily worse every time they serve it to me). I took a sip of the first cup, it was ok. I took a sip of the second cup, and it tasted different than the first one. Probably just as strong, but with a slightly disingenuous aftertaste. As weird as it sounds, the coffee was trying too hard to taste like coffee. I knew it was instant. She told me I was correct.

I like to think I have a discerning palette--at least I joke about having one whenever my family goes out to eat--and so I'm not just going to drink any coffee. I recently bought a bag of Eight O'Clock Coffee because it was on sale at the grocery store (again, something I used to drink in college), and I still regret it. I don't regret trying Via, but I also know that I would never voluntarily drink it. Maybe I should get a packet and tape it to the inside of my medicine cabinet, like an iron pill in case of nuclear fallout. Maybe I could drink the stuff if it was brought to me by a St. Bernard during a particularly dire morning. I might bring it camping, if I ever go camping again...

What Via did tell me was this: that the Starbucks flavor of coffee isn't beholden to the region of beans or their paper cups that tell me how to live my life. The Starbucks flavor is manufactured strong, bold, and possibly burnt. This is probably the best instant coffee I've ever had, but that's not saying much. In fact, it devalues the entire line of Starbucks brewed coffee because the taste is so similar. I almost wish that Via was worse, so that their Gold Coast, Pike Place, and other flavors would seem worth it. Now they've successfully told me that their coffee is generally about as good as the best form of instant coffee. That's not something to be proud of.

Posted by MikeRubino at October 2, 2009 10:46 AM