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i'm just a literary tease, my reputation's on its knees.

More Than You Wanted to Know About Sex

September 22, 2004

I swear: There are a million important issues in the world that I could be spending my time researching on the 'net. But the truth is? I've only got one thing on my mind tonight: Sex.

Before you scream in horror, running away thinking, "No! Blogs are a Anti-SexualTM Environment! This is just plain wrong!" I have to tell you: There is a logical pattern to my thoughts tonight. Honest.

See: My cat is pregnant, right? (want kittens?)

So I thought, "Hey, how long is that gestation period for kittens?" because it would be nice to have a clue when I can expect the little furry bastards kittens. Also, I'd like to determine for sure if she is pregnant and not just growing fatter at an astonishing rate.

Me: Man, my cat has been pregnant for two years!
SmartPerson: Dude, your cat's just FAT!
Me: Oh. Sweet!

So, yeah, I'm researching that online and I come across some STRANGE stuff. (Maybe typing "hot kitty sex" in the google search bar wasn't the best first step?) So here I am, sharing way too much information again, as per the course of my life:


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"At some point during your youth, your parents probably took you aside and after several minutes of blushing and throat-clearing gave you the Reader's Digest version of the birds and bees. (The folks apparently never realized that you had learned about sex in far more detail several years earlier from a friend in your preschool finger painting class.) But just what did we learn about the actual birds and bees, not to mention the thousands of other species of animals that share the Earth with us? They preen, they strut, they lure and, if all goes as planned, they have sex. You might be surprised by some of the following sexual facts and oddities concerning members of the wild kingdom."

Things About the Animal Kingdom Your Parents Never Told You
by Scott Roeben

Here you can learn such tidbits as the weight of a blue whale's testicle and that amazing crustacean with not two, but three, sexes!

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Did you know that a pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes? That humans and dolphins are the only animals that mate for pleasure?

If you can ignore the glaring typos, you might get a kick out of this:
List of "weired" animal facts.

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"'Lions are busy,' said Brandais. The male can copulate up to 50 times a day—and mind you, they sleep about 21 hours, so when they're hot, they're really hot. Cats have barbed penises—that's one of the reasons they howl—but it stimulates ovulation in the female, so the lady kitties are pretty much stuck—ahem, literally and figuratively—with the less-than-kind decisions of evolution."

And if you've ever wondered what all the zoo animals do after hours?
The Royal Treatment
by Carol Queen should satiate your desires.

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As if you didn't have enough to worry about in your sex life...

Did you know that it is illegal to make love while fishing on your wedding day in Illinois? If you get busted getting busy in a walk-in meat freezer in Wyoming you are in big trouble, mister! Don't have sex on your front lawn after sundown in Montana, have sex with a corpse anywhere in the United States, or wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio or risk the perils of being a criminal. I don't know how legit this so-called sex laws are, but I still enjoyed reading 'em.

Weird Sex: Strange Facts, Sex Laws, and Urban Myths


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Thank you. We now return to our regular programming. Woot! ;c)

Moira at 10:35 PM :: Comments (3) :: « :: »
Comments:

Ummm...well...uh...*scratches head*

I just don't know what to say to that, Moira...

Posted by: Valerie Masciarelli at September 23, 2004 12:24 AM

So... Did you ever find out the gestation period of your hussy cat? I thought it was nine something, months? (No, wait that's us...) weeks perhaps? That seems short. I know it's not days. I had a friend who's cat would sneak out the window and come back pregnant all the time. The strangest part about it was every litter she had (hardly the term for it,) was only one single kitten each. Her owner was pissed that she got out, but at least she didn't have to deal with a dozen little puffballs each time.

Posted by: Lily at September 23, 2004 10:21 PM

I know how you feel I have a cat that likes to "get around" if you know what I mean. She has litter after litter and they just keep coming. So just hope that your cat if just fat.lol.

Posted by: Vicki at September 27, 2004 09:24 AM
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