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i'm just a literary tease, my reputation's on its knees.

American Polictics - No Thinking Required

October 07, 2004

This is a joke, right?

President Match

The blurb for this link says "Undecided? Find out which candidate best fits your views." As if doing some research on what matters to you wouldn't help you find that out. Oh, no, we have to make it incredibly easy for you - just take this quiz and the happy little computer will tell you who to vote for! Absolutely No Thinking Required! It's beautiful. Really it is.

Almost as beautiful as the webpage for the Center for Online Addiction we purused in Writing for the Internet yesterday.

What the hell is the world coming to???

Honestly? I don't even want to know. The world's been a crazy place since the very beginning and I have very little faith that the world will change drastically anytime soon. And what the heck's the election going to do for us anyway? Squat. It's one pasty rich white man pitted against another in a race that means little to nothing save the picture posted under the listing "President of the United States" in next year's history books. One man is not going to change the world. Especially one man who has to appease thousands of voters or risk losing his job in four years.

And, do you know how much money the president of the United States makes each year? I didn't until about, oh, 30 seconds ago and now that I know, I want to barf. In 2001, Bill Clinton signed into law an increase of the presidental salary from $200,000 to $400,000. The president also gets an expense account and, duh, free housing.

"The White House has 132 rooms, 32 bathrooms, including a movie theater, bowling alley, billiards room, tennis court, jogging track and putting greens for entertainment. He also has use of Camp David, the presidential retreat."

How Stuff Works: How Much Does the President Make?

I want to vomit. I could live VERY comfortably on $400,000 for 40 years!!! I could quit my job, write like a fiend, and sit around in my apartment all day eating chocolate and watching movies. In other words, I could live a very decadent life for almost half a century on $400,000. It's DISGUSTING!

I mean, yeah, yeah, I wouldn't be creating any wars in order to further my political interests / fatten my pocket. And I wouldn't be putting on a monkey suit in order to talk other rich white men into following my policies. I wouldn't have my picture under the heading president, etc, etc. But still!

Oh, well. I'm just cranky today, I guess. My car's broken down and I don't have a dime to pay for repairs. I have a toothache but I can't get insurance because I don't work enough hours each month. And I can't get welfare insurance because, get this, I make too much money. Damned if I do, double damned if I don't. Meanwhile, my next-door neighbor, a fifty year old alcoholic human sponge hasn't had a job lasting longer than a month in the entire three years I've lived here gets $180 a month in food stamps, not to mention primo healthcare and assistance paying rent. That's just awesome. Thanks, U.S. government! I love you too. Jerkfaces.

Moira at 12:41 PM :: Comments (0) :: ::
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