Death By Carrots, An Extraction
August 20, 2006"In short, it is singularly difficult to kill yourself with carrots." - Andrew Saul, doctoryourself.com
Today I scored an Oster Juice Extractor for $5 from a flea market. I've wanted one for a while, but am unwilling to pay a hefty price tag that I will, in all probability, use a few times before growing bored with it. This happened with my fancy espresso maker, food dehydrator, bread machine, and vegetable steamer. Luckily, I didn't pay for any of these appliances with now gather dust in my kitchen.
Maybe you've heard tales of my kitchen before:
"Some days I am practically a kitchen whizkid, whipping up those delicious banana nut muffins from scratch, with a nary a glance at my recipe as I do so. Other days, such as today, I am fairly certain it should be illegal for me to be around kitchen appliances, especially those with razor sharp blades whizzing around at the speed of light."
Perhaps, even, you've followed some of my suggestions for using up leftover turkey.
Well... Then you know the danger the world faces now that I own a Juice Extractor!
How ominous the name: EX-tract-or.
Even juice, such an innocent word, has dark connotations:
Juice. N. A fluid naturally contained in plant or animal tissue. (dictionary.com)
Animal tissue? As in, sheep juice? Rattlesnake juice? Flesh juice.
Ew.
By the way, this entry has no point. I just wanted to share the quote at the beginning because I thought it was silly, and I imagined an orange man trying, in vain, to commit suicide through carrots. Isn't there a Korn song about dying carrots? Hmm... The possiblities, of juice extractors and of carrot suicide attempts, are endless. Mwhahaha!
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Edit: So far I've made Apple-Pear-Kiwi-Pineapple Juice (yum!) and Beet-Cucumber-Apple juice (not-so-much). I just learned that I can use the leftover pulp in recipes. Sweet!
