Unfortunately though, there is another side to the same coin, which stems largely from the fact that in retrospect, there is a good chance much more progress could have been achieved. This semester has been incredibly hectic, largely due to the fact that I've been working almost full time in the electronics department of Target as well as tutoring philosophy and practicing with the good old Seton Hill Tennis team. What all this amounts to is a good deal less of my time being spent on classwork, and possibly a slightly lower grade of work produced even when the time is spent. It seems obvious that school should take precedence over work in this situation, but sadly this is easier said than done. Looking at it from this angle then, makes me realize how much more productive this semester and this class could have been in a different situation, such as one where I didn't have to keep up with a job.

Oh well...I guess everyone has to step out into the real world sometime, huh? *sigh...*

The Collection:

A series of blogs involving the ever-elusive interactive fiction:

"Ford, You're Turning Into a Penguin...Stop It."

My own start at an interactive fiction game:

Ender's Game: The Interactive Fiction Game Every Sci-Fi Fan Has Been Waiting For!

Some people edit Wikipedia for informational purposes...I decided to have a little fun with it:

Wikipedia...Where the Fun Never Stops!

A little bit of a wildcard entry for you about my industrious workings in the electronics department of Target:

HD TV is for [little girls men]

One of the requirements of the blogging portfolio is to blog several in-depth entries, but in this case, all my entries are in depth. I tend to not write something without the intent of writing a complete article, and therefore very few of my entries end up being short little blurbs.

There are several shorter blurbs which I wrote on the website we made in class rather than on my blog, so if you would like to read any of my briefer works, feel free to check it out. Oh, and you'll probably be more apt to like it if youre a republican. ;-)

This website is also going to be expanded and rewritten to become my final project

As always, my posts tend to be a bit controversial, and because of this almost all of them have recieved a good number of comments. Below are links to some of my favorites:

Some people thought my wildcard entry was funny, while others worried it might affect my chances of future employment. Eh.

Judging from the comments, It also appears that Ender's Game was much more popular at Seton Hill than I realized.

On top of that, I also posted several entries on both the main SHU blogging page and my own page, so if you would like to check out some other comments i've received, go ahead and visit blogs.setonhill.edu/nmj.

You know the type I'm talking about...a starched Armani dress shirt tucked into a pair of pants that they took home and re-ironed on their lunch break, just to make sure they stayed creased all afternoon. They undue the top button of their collar and loosen their tie just a little to make sure you know that they've been hard at work behind their desk in the third cubicle on the left all day long, and that this stop is just one more annoyance on the way home.

And yet rather than just buy the biggest, clearest, flattest, crispest, most expensive TV they can find and just get it over with, they spend the next forty minutes talking to me about which televisions are better for which reasons, all while not-so-subtly implying that money is no option.

People like this make my night, because I wouldn't have to know a plasma TV from a backstocked Alanis Morriset album to provide what Target likes to call "unparralled customer service." Invariably, I tell these customers the same thing: "Well sir, the higher you go in price, the better quality you're going to get. If you're looking for top notch, I'd say this 52" flat panel Magnavox High Definition TV for $6,999 dollars is probably your best bet."

"Hmm, you don't say. Well how would that television compare to this less expensive, smaller, cheaper brand?" [read: I'm going to buy the magnavox eventually, but I want to make sure everyone around me thinks that I'm an informed consumer who only spends his "hard earned" money wisely, after testing all my options.]

"Well sir, that that TV doesn't have a built in DVD player, or HD...if you're going to spend that much money, you might as well upgrade to the next step." [read: I hope you choke on your steak at dinner]

45 minutes later, after discussing every TV we sell and when a large group of other customers has gathered in the department waiting for assistance...

[patronizing and loud] "Well son, you've sure convinced me, I'll take it! (as if I had actually made a cunningly reasonable argument as to why anyone should spend seven grand on a TV) "I'll just pay now, then you can have someone bring it on out to my car!"

Thanks, asshole. Now, rather than helping customers that don't suck, I have to go to the back room, get your ego boost for the night so you feel better about your pointless life, and bring it out to your car.

You're the type of person who buys an Xbox 360 and then plays nothing but Ping-Pong and WarCraft on it.

"But Paul, the graphics are so good, and Ping-Pong and War-Craft are fun! LOL!!1"

Sadly, none of these people seem to realize that you can buy an entire ping-pong table, two paddles, a 6 pack of balls, a used Desktop computer, a copy of WarCraft the PC game, and even a cheap hooker to play pong against you all night for the same price as the 360, two controllers and two games. And regardless of what you say, real life still has better graphics.

And seriously, who cares about graphics anyway? What happened to the days when gameplay was all that mattered? Text adventure games and the original Mario on a 15" screen are the only video games I need, and I can get those for cheaper than the gas you bastards spent on the drive to target.

Also, if you have seven grand to blow on a television, WHY WOULD YOU BUY IT AT TARGET IN THE FIRST PLACE???

I hate all of you.

Also, I doubt that I can legally create this game without getting permission from either Card himself, or the publishers of the book, but regardless of all that I intend to make a go of it anyway. Besides, I'm relatively sure that this game will never become popular enough to attract the attention of a world renowned author...and if it does, well that's why God made the "delete" key.

Anyway, I plan on having my game skip the majority of introduction to the book (which encompasses much of the main characters home life and alot of backstory for those who haven't read it), and pretty much skipping right to the action: Ender's arrival at Battle School.

If you've never read the book, you may as well just stop reading right here, because although you will still be able to play the game, I really don't feel like summarizing the entire plot for you. Just go read it, it's amazing.

The interactive fiction will focus primarily on Ender's time at battle school, and the decisions he makes in order to reach the point in his education where he is ready to command the human fleet against the bugger homeworlds (without his ever knowing he's doing it, of course.)

Hopefully, by the time i've finished, there will be a variety of different endings, ranging in rank from around 1-10, with one being the worst and ten being the best. This way, while there is only one paramount ending, the others are not necessarily dead ends, but can rather be considered alternate endings to Card's book. Unfortunately, I'm thinking that only the top three endings don't involve earth eventually getting destroyed. Hey, you win some you lose some, right?

Check out the extended entry for a bit of transcript from the start of the game.

Unfortunately, the game immediately made me begin to doubt my role as a supreme Douglas Adams fan. I mean you know you have to rethink your life when you score a 10/400 on a game based on your favorite book which you've read at like 15 times, right? Yeah.

Regardless though, I persevered, and it began to take longer and longer before I was destroyed by a fleet of Vogon Construction Ships which "hung in the air in much the same way that bricks don't."

The only problem that I have with this game is that it could only be considered fun if you've not only read the book, but read it ALOT. For instance, how would someone who just stumbled across it figure out that you need to lie down in front of a bulldozer for an extended period of time in order to even advance past the first level of the game? Pretty much impossible. Or at least infinitely improbable. ;-)

I think Douglas Adams sums up this game perfectly with what is possibly his most famous quote:

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

I imagine this to be precisely the way many people feel about this game.

Anyway, I give this interactive fiction a 7.5 out of 10, but only because I really really really like the book.

If reading the entry, you would find out several shocking facts about Chaucer, not the least of which is that he was a good friend of Adolf Hitler, and one of the first proponents of Gay marriage. Hey, I enjoyed this excercise, and it was a good outlet for my frustrations. If Wikipedia can't take a joke, screw them, right?

Update: By the time I got home Wikipedia had already removed the article. Before I even had a chance to print it. Damn their efficiency.

Once you've got the catchy title down pat, you're free to move onto the body of the work. Since this is writing for the internet, oftentimes you find some interesting articles regarding the most popular sites of the times, giving both positive and negative reviews. Sometimes you can even put together some online research, a dash of witty emo, and a densly linked article on technology to really make the folks at home have a good laugh.

If laughs aren't what you're looking for though, perhaps youd prefer a news article from the future, or even a helpful critique of a book about writing for the internet.

Now as many of you probably know, I happen to be an English major, and one of the most common questions I get is what the hell I plan on doing with it, since teaching isn't my goal. Well I thought long and hard about this, and while I didn't come up with an answer, I did come up with a helpful list for the unemployed, detailing what I feel to be the most important parts of profesional email.

We've also had a number of good, long, in-class talks about the importance of having your own style of writing, one which captures the reader's interest and attention while at the same time staying original and unique. This one, in my oppinion goes into a little more depth and detail about my views on Professor Swissler and the nasty email she sent to a group of rowdy students. I feel that this piece really showcases my writing style because it not only utilizes an original voice, but uses memorable phrases, one of which was even specifically commented about by a student.

Out of all my blog entries, it seems that one not even required by the class was the one which recieved the most attention. I mean, I just thought it was a little silly that even after hours of class discussion, people were still writing blogs with names like "quotes from the homework."

On top of this, it's always nice to see that people are reading your blogs, and comments and/or other entries which make reference to your own are a good way to let you know that youve been read. For instance, I have a feeling that Jeremy Barrick didn't really like the tone of one of my entries, and therefore chose to write an entry of his own with regards to how some people aren't nearly as nice as they should be. Though interaction might not always be positive, it is still always nice to know youre being read. Many of my entries have recieved comments, questions and commendations by other bloggers, and rather than link to each one seperately, they can easily be found by visiting my main page (blogs.setonhill.edu/PaulCrossman), or by clicking any of the links above.

Though comments on my own site are important, it is equally important to leave comments on the sites of others, whether the reason is to start a coversation, spark a debate, or even just say hi. Some of my comments on the sites of others include: A comment on Erin Waite's blog offering a bit of HTML help, an integral part of a discussion on a different blog of Erin's, and having the honor being the "Comment Primo" on one of Tiffany Gilbert's entries.

The majority of my entries have been timely, and all in all I feel that they have sparked a good amount of discussion both on the net and in class. If I had to pick one thing to change, it would be the amount of comments I have left on other's blogs...though there have been some, it is in this department that I am lacking. Hopefully before the next portfolio I'll have plenty of time to correct this mistake.

Other than that though, I'm amazing.

...

I just looked at the Writing for the Internet homepage, and over half the entries are titled "Interesting quotes for chapter _____." Some of them don't even bother to let the reader in on the fact that the quotes might be interesting. I know when I see a title called "Quotes from chapter 9," I just can't wait to see what those quotes might be, especially if they're labeled "interesting."

I know what you're thinking right now. Yeah, you...the one who's reading this after using one of the titles mentioned above. "But Paul, these are just my class entries, I don't care if anyone actually reads them!!!11 LOL!!!."
Good, then quit bitching when no one comments on your site. Why do you think we have mandatory comment requirements before we come to class now? I'll tell you why, because people like you are boring and no one wants to read what you wrote, much less comment on it.

All that work for this. I'll bet Dennis Jerz is turning in his grave...oh wait.

Dr. Jerz makes some good points about why both the in context and out of conext titles are important on your webpage, and why both need to be interesting and catchy enough to catch the attention of the reader. If your page is lacking either one of these titles, the for all practical purposes, you may as well just take it down.

Unless it happens to be my page. Because regardless of the title, my page is sweet.

In theory, at least, Myspace will live forever.

I was actually writing on Erin Waite's blog that I once had a more helpful book entitled "Build Your Own Webpage, A Children's Guide to HTML." It had a picture of a cartoon mouse eating a giant piece of cheese on the front, but sure enough, it helped me (so far) much more than this book has. Hopefully once we get past the basics Castro's book will get a bit more usefull

I had a Latin teacher in high school who jumped over a desk and slapped a kid right in the face, and let me tell you, for that last 30 minutes or so before he got canned, there was never a quieter, more well behaved class.

Let me regress. For the vast majority of you that probably didn't realize the above paragraphs were jokes, let me make my opinion perfectly clear: violence, whether verbal or physical, in Swissler's situation probably wasn't the way to go. She had other options, and she shit the bed, thus deserving to be fired.

What about in other cases though? Like all those smelly hippies out there that constantly quote "violence never solved anything!" It seems to me that violence has actually solved a whole lot of things. I mean where do you think we would be right now if our forefathers had sat down for a friendly game of parchesi to decide whether America got its freedom? Certainly not in a free country, since everyone knows no one can beat the English at parchesi.
What I'm really trying to say here people is that violence is like that answer you picked on all the questions you got wrong during the SAT's; it's right and it solves the problem, but there's probably another way that solves it just a bit better. Think about that.

Seriously, I should have my own show.

1) If your potential employers name is "Mr. Daniel Rather," you cannot start your email with "Yo, Mista D., I've heard great things about you." You can, however, kick yourself in the face if you've ever even started an email to a friend that way.

2) Your potential employer does not care if you happened to be making a winky face while you are writing him or her an email. In certain settings this may even be construed as offensive. ex: "Wow Mr. X, you really nailed Mr. Q during that presentation last night, maybe we should discuss it more later! ;-)

3) Though AOL is the creater of the most popular instant messaging program, using repeated LOL's in your resume will not impress them when you look for a job. I promise.

Remember back in the old days when a bad record or a certain misdeed could get you blacklisted from the entire working community? Keep that in mind when writing a professional email...no one wants to hire someone whose only skill is Instant Messaging.

"But I'm profficent in both AIM and ICQ!!! LOL!!11" will only get you so far. Also, don't underline or italicize words you dolt, not everyone reads the way you think.