Out of Spec

I Cape, I Sew… Who conquered?

I have always been the kind of person to locate an opportunity and milk it for all it's worth. While I love science and everything about it, I love my creative opportunities too, like knitting and sewing. Creative opportunities can rear their head in the strangest locations. Who else but me would offer to make a project for someone on the radio? One morning, when my local morning show mentioned the word "cape," I jumped at the chance.

105.7 The X is the local modern rock alternative station for the Harrisburg/Lancaster area. It's akin to the Pittsburgh station in a lot of ways, especially the format, but the morning show is definitely one-of-a-kind. I always hated morning shows, especially Howard Stern when he was on the radio. I always wanted more music in the morning and less talking. Well, when I moved here, I noticed that ALL of the local stations had morning shows, and none of them played music during my morning preparations/commute, so I had to pick a station regardless. The logical choice was the one station that played music I enjoy, just ignore the talking, and enjoy the occasional musical interludes.

The morning show on The X consists of a black comedian/body builder, Earl David Reed, a white radio host (and former track star) Nipsey, and all-around kick-ass single mother, Jennifer Shade. The more I listened to my morning show, the more I enjoyed the quick-witted one-liners of Earl, the awkwardly amusing banter of Nipsey, and the no-nonsense attitude of Jennifer. I found myself turning down the music—occasionally good stuff, like Foo Fighters or Switchfoot, but usually crap like Pearl Jam and Metallica—and turning up the amusing and yet highly informative conversation between our three radio heroes.

One morning, Nipsey was reminiscing about his past racing victories and concurrently mocking a fellow DJ. Earl chimed in and said yes, Nipsey could definitely beat the other guy in a race. Nipsey told Earl that Nipsey could probably beat Earl in a foot race, and Earl said that would be highly unlikely. Incensed, the gauntlet was thrown, and "The Big Race" became a standing challenge. The listeners chose sides, with Earl being the stand-out favorite. As Fox news put it: "Earl is a bodybuilder in the best shape of his life. Nipsey is not."

Before they even had a day picked out, the pair decided that one of the conditions of the race would be that the loser should wear a cape for a week. Now there's a good chance that I am the only person who hears the word "cape" and thinks "sewing project," so I sent them a message through Myspace saying that I would make them a cape if they didn't have one. I sent this message assuming someone else screened their messages, and that they only got letters that "the man" wanted them to get, and I would never even hear a peep back. But I was wrong.

"We'll keep in touch" was the first thing I heard, and that was within a few days. I was surprised, to say the least. A few days after that, they were (again) discussing the race, and the cape came up. Earl said, "I have a woman who offered to make us the cape!" I was driving in my car at the time, and I distinctly remember trying not to wreck my car. They mentioned my letter. I was definitely excited. They mentioned my name a few times afterwards, and I knew this was going to be something to look forward to.

As the months drew on and they still didn't have a race date, I began to wonder if I would get left behind in this. Suddenly, they had a date for the race one morning, so I again sent them an e-mail inquiring about the cape. Success! They asked if I could make the cape in enough time (two weeks' notice), and could I possibly pick up an iron-on transfer of the KFC logo from the radio station to put on the cape? With a yes to both questions, I went on a fabric quest. My sister Janet helped me pick out some beautiful blue polyester and a nice paisley lining. After pouring over the cape every night for a week, I had some nice work to show for it:

The day of the race drew nigh. Saturday May 13, I drove with cape in tow to City Island in Harrisburg. Nipsey, who was my contact throughout the cape process, told me to contact the first person I saw with an X shirt. I walked up carrying a hanger covered by a garbage bag, and the first person I saw was Jen Shade. The first words out of her mouth were, "Is that the cape?" I nodded back at her, and she cackled evilly. I brought it over to The X van, where she was sitting and painting her fingernails. I hid in the back while the van was moved, lint rollering the entire garment in order to remove all of the dog fur. It happened so fast… the Race was on.

I wandered over to the tent where the two men were stretching and warming up. I hid in the background, just observing. Eventually I spoke up saying, "I brought the cape with me." Nispey looked up at me (he was sitting on the ground) and said I should have said something sooner, and gave me a hug. I poised myself at the finish line behind a few tall people; they had a pretty good turn-out. Jen did her announcing, the racers were poised, and she blew the whistle…

It was a photo finish! Many people (myself included) thought that since Earl was in such good shape, and Nipsey's favorite form of exercise were multiple trips to the Chinese buffet, it would be absolutely no contest. But Nipsey surprised everyone, and in some of the photos, it even appeared that Nipsey crossed the finish line first. Without a definitive answer, the pair were forced to run again. The second time, however, Earl was the clear victor. Mostly because Nipsey couldn't run 40 yards that fast twice in a row.

Nipsey, Jen Shade, Earl David Reed, and the KFC Chicken

Me and my Morning Show

Well, after the race, with all of the controversy, they had a professional reviewer of photo finishes come in and look at all the images. His official word? It was a tie. Earl refused to race again until they raised more money for their charity, The Four Diamonds fund. Just a little info about The Four Diamonds—this charity pays 100% of the hospital bills for children with cancer after the insurance money runs out. The re-match will happen again, as soon as $1,057 dollars are raised for this awesome organization. Visit the website and donate! There's a link to The Four Diamonds on The X website: 105.7 The X.

What an opportunity! I had so much fun making the cape for these guys, and they were awesome from start to finish. I'm looking forward to heading out to the re-match.