W;t, do you have it in you?

"VIVIAN: "It is said that the effect of eating too much lettuce is soporific. The little bunnies in the picture are asleep! They're sleeping! Like you said, because of soporific!"
"The illustration bore out the meaning of the word, just as he had explained it. At the time, it seemed like magic." (W;t 43-Edson)

When Vivian recalls the memory of reading the cute bunny book, to me it was the first sign of her weakness and first show of emotion. She presents herself as a strong person who achieved so much and nothing can wear her down, but we all know no one is that tough their whole lives. She rememebers being a young child and recalls her father who also passed away when she was only 20. I think sentimental memories are a sign of weakness for her. After sharing her childhood memory, she goes on talking about John Donne and his "death" poems. By changing the subject to death only showed me she was trying not to break down and falter emotionally. She was trying to prove she could talk about what was happening to her without actually believing it herself.
And in the end, when we find out she was a DNR, we know she had no fear of dying and she was trying to act tough and for a brief moment, I believe she regretted her decision (weakness), but we clearly see she found the light and she was back to her fearless self.