Conan, Lord of the Rings
You want to know what Lord of The Rings needs? Conan the Barbarian. That's right, every single character in this movie, with the possible exception of Gimli, is a pussy. The only character who was well cast was Legolas, because he is undoubtedly the king of the fairies...er...elves. What this movie needed was some good old fashioned ass kicking.
This movie might have been good if the part of Frodo had been played by Conan the Barbarian, and not some pansy-ass midget with girl hair. Conan would have killed Sam (who was only in the movie to play the part of free slave labor for Frodo anyway), thrown Gollumn in the swamp, and kicked all the wizards asses single handedly. Including Gandalf.
Which brings me to my next point. Gandalf was a sell out. He got in one big battle and then turned into a woman.
"Oh, i fought for two hours, and I was so happy I won that I decided to treat myself with a visit to the salon, you know...get my hair straightened, a manicure, all that good stuff. Oh, and I definitely needed a new wardrobe, that grey just didn't do it for me anymore." Comon, how big of a pansy can you get?
Combine that with the fact that he had alzheimers ("Oh, they used to call me Gandalf didn't they... Gandalf the Grey?"), and you get pretty much the shittiest wizard imaginable. The freakin wizard of Oz could have kicked this guys ass.
Seriously, where's Conan when we need him?
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Paul, I believe that you've forgotten Tom, or are we just focusing on the movies?
Even in the movies, Eomer and Eowyn, where are their pansy qualities? There was no whimping out in their actions.
Eomer smacked the uruk-hai into submission and didn't take any of Wormtounge's crap.
Eowyn just rocks.
And what about Aragorn? He was pretty badass...
Paul...you are just a dork and do not understand the fine qualities of LOTR.....
Tiff
Aragorn was the biggest pansy of them all. Facial hair doesn't make you a man. And Diana reminded me of a huge point i had forgotten. This entire movie left out Tom Bombadil. He was the biggest badass in the entire book, he put on the ring and it didn't do shit. And all he did all day was sing senseless music and kick ass. They took the one good character out of the movie. But I mean, it's no wonder really, with the cast they got for the show now, there is no way the could have found someone badass enough to play Tom Bombadil.
Do I sense a little jealousy on your part Paul? The movie was awsome. All of the characters were perfect. No book and movie will always be exactly the same. Movies have to be made to catch the eye and this movie certainly did catch the eyes of the country considering how well it did. They didn't want this movie to be an ACTION movie. If you want to see an action movie then go see something else. These movies are PERFECT just the way they are.
LOTR wasn't an action movie? Except for all the fight scenes I guess...and the mindless death and violence and war. Hmm.... Dumbass.
Dude, you sir, are a modern day prophet! I just got done watching it today (finally) and my exact thoughts were "what was this movie missing?" and I immediatly thought... Conan. Man, Conan would of beatin' ass of every species!
*Conan wrestles mummy-saurus*
Gandalf: Dude, Conan, I think that guys been unconsious for like, 5 minutes. OVERKILL!