"S-A-N-I-TAY-SHUN, no breathing"-- Papa Roach

I've started to chew tobacco here at good old Seton Hill. It's great, I never have to buy a can of my own smokeless tobacco, since it's all over the shower floor! It takes a goal-oriented young adult to take out his dip and leave it in the shower basin. I just take a box cutter, put a few slits between the toes and I’m anxiously walking down the hall to the shower. I know what you’re thinking, "Can nicotine really enter your bloodstream through cuts in your feet?" The answer is yes, and there's nothing like that buzz I get shampooing my hair while I’m holding back puke. The best thing about getting your nicotine fix from old chew in the shower is clumps of chew look a lot like the clumps of feces I’ve become accustomed to. Had a little mix up last week though, when I went to lay my bleeding feet on what I though was a saliva covered, day-old, dip turned out to be a day-old turd. Now I have a staff infection.
GO GRIFFINS!