October 5, 2003

Coming Home

Being a commuter, you really spend a lot of time on the road, not much time at home or at school, just cruising the streets.

Maybe I should get one of those convertibles that jump up and down...that would be really cool to come to school in.

Well, besides that I went home this weekend--really home--to my grandma's house. It is so interesting to see your life measured by the the places and the people that you see, the light switches that you finally can touch, the house not as big as it once was.

Everyone is getting older...my mom, dad, grandma...and all of my cousins are either having babies or getting married. It is a shock to the senses that I might be next to get hitched. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I want so much more than that in my life.

My cousins do have "fulfilling" lives for them, but not in my eyes. They are all settling for family and not their dreams. I don't want to settle. I will continue to dream. I want to work. The family stuff will come later.

But in that time at my grandma's, I realized how much things are changing. I am not the little girl that ran through the woods on summer days, or gathered leaves to make collages. I am in college, an adult.

And I'll never have the freedom to be a child again.

Very depressing, huh?

So many things are ending and beginning. I can't help asking myself, "Am I ending or starting?"

Maybe a little of both.

Posted by Amanda Cochran at October 5, 2003 4:09 PM

Oh boy, do I hear ya! Well actually, I don't spend that much time in my car partly cuz I'm too cheap (and poor!) to continually fill it with gas and homework beckons my name from my bedroom therefore ruining my chances of cruising around.

I think the most time that I spend in my car is in the morning trying to defrost my windows but when you have a crappy Corsica, such as myself, these things are bound to happen...

All in all, you're suffering from the Freshman blues, that undeniable confusion from the leap of your prosperous years in HS to the "what the heck am I doing here" college years. Oh wait, that was how I felt last year when I was a freshman. Oh well, any-hu...just thought I'd share some insight and my 25 cents.

Posted by: Renee at October 7, 2003 9:30 AM

I have a Chevy Corsica too!!!

Thanks for the comment. It makes me feel a bit more normal, not like a stick in a big gross puddle.

Posted by: Amanda at October 7, 2003 11:21 AM

Isn't it ironic? (Nah, (I'm not tempted to bust out in an Alanis Morisette serenade either) Yeah, I've had my Corsica since like last year - - it's silver and I like to tattoo the back hood with bumper stickers! :) All in all it hasn't given me THAT much trouble.

Posted by: Renee at October 7, 2003 5:35 PM
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