May 5, 2004

Girl Meets World: First Year Reflection

So now comes my sentimental end-of-the-year blog. I know most of my student pals are tired of doing reflection papers, so try reading one. Sit back, relax, and turn your text size to xx-large so you can let your retinas rest. Enjoy.

I can't believe it. I can't understand how just a year ago I sat in my room, finishing my writer's portfolio grad project, thinking, "This is it...I going to Seton Hill. What the heck did I get myself into? Can I?"

I had the will, but I didn't know what I was getting myself into. The work. The professors. The relationships. I didn't know what walls I would run into. What havens I would find.

Yesterday I was looking at my graduation party pictures. I saw my friends from high school. Some with children now. Married. I saw my real friends, the ones I still talk to, and smiled at the ones who went away, remembering the call-me-make-sure-you-call-me-over-the-summer promises.

Then I saw me in my pastel pink B. Moss dress (I remember it--the zipper is broken now--I got really impatient one day and zipped it up myself whoops :-D) In many ways, I don't even know that girl anymore. The smile, the mannerisms were the same, but I wasn't. I lacked something there.

I looked at those pictures and thought of all the people that weren't there. The people I didn't meet yet. I felt sorry for the girl in that picture. Didn't she know all the papers that lay ahead? The long nights of carpal tunnel? Didn't she know that the best friend she'd ever meet was still unknown to her? So many things left to be learned.

I look back on the best times now: Christmas on the Hill, Rent, blogging fights, newspaper production days, dances, seminars, discussions, retail therapy, sleepovers, meetings, cappuchino and frappachino highs, and I can't recall a better year of my life.

I remember people saying that I would miss high school so much when I left. They were wrong in my case. I don't miss it.

I didn't belong there--I never did, but I can say that I belong at Seton Hill. I have loved every moment, learning not only from books and blogs, but from people--faculty and friends alike. Somewhere along the way, I discovered that my place is here. The squirrels, planners, disks, Diamond Age "discussions", blogging, heart-to-hearts with pals, hugs that you desperately need, laughing until your sides ache and your eyes get drippy--adding one more line to Karissa's list of funny quotes, comments that make your blood pressure rise in anger at the Paul, Michael or Puff that wants to see you get spitting mad. Every day was an adventure. I wanted to come. I didn't want to miss class (even when I accidentally did).

Though I see the world more critically now, I can still appreciate it for what it is, and what I can do in it. All of you have been a part of that lesson. Thank you for helping this girl meet another chunk of the world. And letting her smile at it. :-)

Posted by Amanda Cochran at May 5, 2004 10:33 PM
Comments

*sniff sniff*
[insert happy tears and hugs here]
Glad to have been a part of this, dearest. Just so you know that all of this means the reciprocal x10 in my mind :^)

Lordy, where would I be without you?
(Let's really not think about that.)

Posted by: Karissa at May 5, 2004 10:49 PM

And I without you. I meant what I said the first time we had lunch--you were a Godsend. He sends just the person to say just the right thing at the time you most need it. You were there every time I need you.

Posted by: Amanda at May 5, 2004 10:52 PM

Can't wait to work with you on the Setonian next year Amanda! Keep Blogging (Although I know you wouldn't miss it for the world!)

Tiff

Posted by: Tiffany at May 6, 2004 7:59 PM

Amanda; I did know that you could do it and that the experience would be something I never had. I am glad that you went to college and not get married right out of school like I did, but it was different back then and also I was not college material, I still think like high school. Marriage is good but mot for you right now you have so much tallent and a live brain. You are a l;ot like my mother she wrote and loved to study to her death she did Moody Bible studies by mail. Out of room and Pappy is ready to leave and I am in my night gown. Congratulations and I love you. I had an email from Holly yesterday. She is happy to be in Japan.

Posted by: grammy at May 7, 2004 11:04 AM

*Sigh*
I remember those promises to call and talk over the summer, I was lucky, I managed to keep that up - over the summer.
You're so right of course, this school year changed us all. Over Easter break I went back to my high school to visit all m friends still there. Now there are differences I never knew existed - college matures you.
I'm glad that I waited to grow up until now though. This year wouldn't have been as much fun if I wasn't still an annoying little high schooler going in! (I don't mean to be sterotypical, I just WAS an annoying little high schooler! : D)

Posted by: Diana at May 7, 2004 9:30 PM

So was I. I look back and I can't believe I am the same person.

Posted by: Amanda at May 8, 2004 2:57 AM

Sorry I didn't get to see you Thursday. My end of the year was swamped with cleaning my dorm room and clearing up stupid 260 dollar library fines!!

Yet after the hours of cleaning I still managed too leave all my Boxers and socks behind...what the heck?! Hopefully Justin Norris can rescue them from a certain dusty death over the summer. *tear for my poor clothes*

Posted by: Stephan at May 8, 2004 9:05 PM

hi, I just read your entry and want to wish you well. :) I look back and I'm amazed at the changes in me. Best wishes!

Posted by: Storyteller at May 8, 2004 9:14 PM

How did you get those fines cleared? You mean you don't have any undies? A Maine man without boxers or socks. hehe. You can always pick up new ones; maybe the perfume clerk at the mall will give you some. :p You can charm them into anything.

Posted by: Amanda at May 9, 2004 12:57 AM

That lady at the mall gave me free samples on 3 different occations...she must not have a good memory or more likely sees 1000s of people a day and forgot that she keeps giving me free stuff.

Justin has offically located my underwear and socks and is sending them to Maine...hopefully it will be cheaper to send them than to buy a whole new drawer full. *insert smile*

Posted by: Stephan at May 9, 2004 3:20 AM

That lady at the mall gave me free samples on 3 different occations...she must not have a good memory or more likely sees 1000s of people a day and forgot that she keeps giving me free stuff.

Justin has offically located my underwear and socks and is sending them to Maine...hopefully it will be cheaper to send them than to buy a whole new drawer full. *insert smile*

Posted by: Stephan at May 9, 2004 3:21 AM

Underwear through the mail--from male to male--now that is something to blog about...

Posted by: Amanda at May 9, 2004 7:48 PM

all I have to say is summed up in three letters:
L O L.

Mailed undergarments. Doesn't get more random than that...

Posted by: Karissa at May 9, 2004 9:51 PM

Hey I receive males from all over the country...I mean...what? crap *sighs*

Posted by: Stephan at May 9, 2004 11:02 PM

Really doesn't surprise me...

Posted by: Amanda at May 10, 2004 11:28 PM

Summer vacation isn't even a week old, and already you're blogging about underwear and toilet paper.

Posted by: Dennis G. Jerz at May 10, 2004 11:56 PM

We're college students. What do you expect?

Posted by: Amanda at May 11, 2004 5:25 PM

If it makes you feel any better, I recently checked out Brave New World and Mrs. Dalloway. :-D

Posted by: Amanda at May 11, 2004 5:26 PM

Both excellent books, might I interject. I'm in the middle of Stephen King's "On Writing" and I intend to finish "Crime and Punishment" before the end of summer (it's long and takes a lot out of you to read, so I'm giving myself a reasonable goal). I'm sure there'll be others! Can't stop me from reading (or blogging!).

Posted by: Karissa at May 11, 2004 5:33 PM
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