May 14, 2004

A One Act Play--The Black Disturbance

Set: A soft light glows while a young woman reads a novel, nearly finished, in bed. It is summer. The windows are open.

Characters:Amanda, the irate father, the laughing sister-Katie, the mother and the bat.

(Amanda is reading when suddenly something begins flying around the room. Caught up in her book, she thinks it is some kind of late night hallucination, but she looks again. A bat--circling. She screams loud enough for neighbors to think a suicide is in progress.)

Amanda: Mom come kill it!!!! (She screams down the staircase)

(Muffled sleepy mutterings)

The father: What now? I have work tomorrow. Go to bed Amanda...

Amanda: There is a bat up here. It's in my room. (she jumps around like the chicken she is, ducking her head and screaming intermittently)

The mother: What? (she laughs while walking up the stairs)

The father: Katie, stop laughing. (walks up the stairs, cursing)

Amanda: Katie, go get the broom!!!

Katie: Okay (pent-up laughter escaping, she gets the broom and goes back downstairs. The bat is now in another room.)

(The father is afraid of the bat, just like the rest of the cast. He duels with the broom. JAB. SLASH. Not hitting anything. He ducks several times. Amanda shuts the door, locking him in with the bat. Thrashing can be heard from inside the room. The set turns--Stunned by a quick hit, the bat falls on Katie's shorts and is thrown outside--still attached to the shorts. Father turns the knob, and looks out triumphant.)

Mother, Katie, and Amanda: (in unison with MGM musical smiles, they sigh) Our Hero.

(All return to their beds. Amanda finishes her last chapter. All cover their heads, prepping for another bat attack. Amanda is awakened by someone mowing their lawn.)

Amanda: (She looks around confused) Was it all a dream?

No--it really happened. My family has been having problems with birds, bats, and other large bug-eating predators in the past 8 years we have lived here. I have never laughed so hard. The bat episodes are always side-splitting.

Posted by Amanda Cochran at May 14, 2004 3:45 PM

I had a bat in my bed room when I was 18. Every time I stuck my head out to scream Here comes the bat and back under the covers, finally Jerry heard me and killed the bst with a mop. When Nancy goes swimming at night the bats dive at her. I guess the bats are partial to Gantzer decendents

Posted by: grammy at May 14, 2004 5:41 PM

I really enjoyed the play format of this entry, it perfectly communicated the situation. I've had several experiences with bats, none of them good. One ended in a torn water bed and minor flooding and the others involved bat tunnels at the zoo. Let us just say that they aren't my favorite creatures!

Posted by: Lindsay at May 14, 2004 7:16 PM

Glad to see that you visited Lindsay. I hope you continue to read :-D

Posted by: Amanda at May 15, 2004 1:37 AM

Oh, it's just as funny as you describing it over the phone. But did you realize that you characterized yourself as poultry in two different frightened states?

"Amanda: There is a bat up here. It's in my room. (she jumps around like the _chicken_ she is, _ducking_ her head and screaming intermittently)"

I had an experience with a bat when I was about 13. I'll have to tell you about it sometime. Quite the shocker. :^D

Posted by: Karissa at May 18, 2004 8:40 AM

I like poultry. Ducks are better than chickens, though--well, unless you are eating them, I suppose. I've never had duck.

Posted by: Amanda at May 18, 2004 3:13 PM

I've eaten lots of things that are stranger than duck. It's greasy, in my opinion... I always try new things on menus. It's just my way of being a cook's guinea pig, I suppose. I like eating new things :^)

Posted by: Karissa at May 19, 2004 5:19 PM


This is such a great story!!!! Bats are great, huh? :) While was I reading the story, I couldn't help but laugh. I could just picture this whole scene happening before my eyes. Of course. Yeah, my family had a similar experience with a blackbird(literally a "black" bird) who made his way into our fireplace. Yes, the bird was coated in ashes, but we successfully managed to safely get it back to its natural habitat.

Posted by: ShannaDeFrances at October 5, 2004 11:37 AM
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