December 10, 2005

Timeless cartoons caput

Over lunch this past week, a few pals of mine started chatting about the upgrades (or bastardizations) of timeless cartoons.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came up... Stephan said they added rap into the theme song, and the turtles can actually mutate into large trucks...or something. I thought it was odd enough that turtles had nunchucks.

I haven't seen the turtles lately in their semi-glory, but I have seen the transformations of Looney Tunes that Sarcasmo's Corner mentions.

The same thing happened to the Power Rangers. And the princesses of Disney feature cartoons. I don't understand how they can have a mermaid and an Arabic princess and an English housemaid all in the same room...and where exactly are they all meeting...on a Disney cruise ship between their respective worlds?

Corporate America is kicking the tar out of classical cartoonery. Why does this happen?!

But anyway, Sarcasmo's updates on classics is a worthwhile read, especially this one (Happy Christmas! :-)):

How the Grinch Stole Christmas: I'll tell you how. WITH LASERS. Poor Whoville never had a chance. (Years later, sole survivor Cindy Lou Who (a vegetarian, having lost her taste for Roast Beast that fatal Christmas) will come back mad as hell and clad in a skin-tight pleather catsuit and with vampiric powers to avenge her town in a made-for-tv movie everyone will know is a bad idea, but will watch anyway. In this version, the Grinch will be played by Boris Karloff, thanks to modern technology.)
Posted by Amanda Cochran at December 10, 2005 1:24 PM | TrackBack

Add Disney's Winnie the Pooh to your list.

That sound you hear is the original illustrator E. H. Shepard rolling over in his pencil-sketched grave.

Posted by: Dennis G. Jerz at December 11, 2005 12:42 AM
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