June 22, 2006

Tanning antics

I'm not what one would call a sun goddess. I am rather chalky most of the year. I do not "go tanning" in booths or beds. I pump SPF 345 on like a nouveau riche armed with her first botte of Chanel No. 5.

I do not like to turn into a peeling radish. I want to skip the wrinkles I've seen on so many women aging after years in the sun. So I avoid the sun these days, only to imbibe when my Vitamin D is lacking. I like a good walk in the forest, a good bike ride or two, but "laying out" is not my cup of tea. It's boring, it's stupid, and just not fun if there's not a pool around.

However, I am pasty. Thus according to society's standards, which sometimes count, I am unhealthy looking. So I've tried self-tanner--this kind. I was amazed a.) at how interesting it is to see yourself turn a totally different color, b.) to see how far my arms could reach across my back--in circular motions, mind you and c.) at how long it takes for the stuff to dry completely.

I also love fooling people into the fake.

"Wow! Amanda, you're really getting dark! Did you lay out this week? You usually burn, what did you do differently this time?"

"Um, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm a bottle tan, and I also have an affinity for alliteration. Incredible isn't it? That I, a self-proclaimed blogging bum and rapacious reporter, would go so far as to fake out the gods of sun and mimic ultraviolet splendor on skin? and win? Oh yeah, I'm big on assonance, too.

Posted by Amanda Cochran at June 22, 2006 5:55 PM | TrackBack

I once had a friend in college who chose a summer job where she worked a night shift so that she could lay out in the sun all day.

"Working" on a tan... hah! That's irony.

Posted by: Dennis G. Jerz at June 22, 2006 10:31 PM

Gosh, I am petrified of getting burnt. Probably has something to do with the fact that I got burnt really badly when I was little--so much peeling that when I -do- get a little tan, I have scarring on my arms... I use nothing lower than SPF 15 on any skin, and mostly 30 or 45 when I'm intentionally outdoors (as opposed to having one arm tan and the other pasty from driving... that's happened before).

I used Coppertone's self-tanner in high school. It's not bad, but Neutrogena is the only sunscreen I use on my face. Ever. I've had bad reactions to others...

Posted by: Karissa at June 23, 2006 6:16 AM

I used to goto the tanning bed a lot last summer to get a dark tan. I mean we are talking daily in the baby-X bed (high power bed) for 15 minutes at 1$ a minute. It was a great tan, but after a whole summer I noticed a black spot on my earlobe, no doubt a result of the tanning.

Posted by: Leslie Rodriguez at June 29, 2006 1:04 PM
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