September 6, 2006

Changes a'comin

When I think that I am (as of yesterday) poised to leave behind Seton Hill, I quake at the realization that my little life filled with libraries and classrooms and professors and family and friends and a home with a huge closet may be coming to a close. What I've waited my entire life to be and do is almost here. Who would've thought I'd feel fear rather than anticipation for the life I may lead?

I guess there's a lot on the table right now. And the gambling isn't for A's anymore. It's my Life, in the most startling technicolor I've ever seen.

I filled out my application for graduation yesterday. When I signed that form, stating December 2006 as a graduation date, I thought about all the things that could affect in my life very soon.

I can travel. I can work. I can go to graduate school. I can wait. I can. I can. I could screw up royally, and end up saying "Do you want fries with that?" or even worse, "Paper or plastic?" full-time. That is not saying that those jobs are "bad" or anything. I like a good Wendy's burger every now and then, but I know that wouldn't be right for me. :-)

Ah, much to contemplate. But I should be happy, right? This is the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one, or some such cliche.

I hope that in a year or so, I'll look back at this entry and grin. "I didn't need to worry," I may say, "I just wish that I'd spent more energy on faith than fear."

They say hindsight is 20/20, but I see clearly right now that I need to believe in everything worth believing that sustains, and not the what ifs that tear down my resolve to succeed.

Posted by Amanda Cochran at September 6, 2006 1:56 PM | TrackBack

Move to Syracuse. Get a job there. Learn the life there. Then when grad school starts, you'll be settled in your new surroundings already. (That's my philosophy to why I've slid into school so much easier these past two years--moving in early. Despite last year's foot issue, I was still far more organized, etc. when school began. I can only think that, on the larger scale of another state, another school, and another program of study, that it would be a good idea.)

Get out of here. (With all my love.)

Posted by: Karissa at September 6, 2006 8:16 PM
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