November 23, 2007

Two realities--one life

I never expected home to be two-fold.

I've come home to this house and its charms, its pace and I'm reminded of everything I've left behind. It's tempting to stay, especially when there's two articles and a lengthy Ethics paper on my docket.

However, this home is different now, but still the same. I'm seeing everything with a camera woman's eye. The close-ups, the over-the-shoulders, the wide shots. It's becoming a disease--almost as bad as the critic's when I pick up a book.

But home is much more than something to capture. It's so alive and so incredibly real. For so long, I've dealt with the idea that the world keeps going in two places at once. It's really egotistical of me to think this way, and I'm well aware of it, but it's something to behold. People change and grow and do things and time passes and we're all along the same timeline. It seems like a magic trick, and I can't seem to find the smoke and mirrors anywhere.

I am living one life in two realities. I hope I can make them one, but for now, it's like I'm jamming myself into one or the other, with nothing fitting quite right yet. Maybe somewhere else...with more time.

Posted by Amanda Cochran at November 23, 2007 1:24 AM | TrackBack
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