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I'm Going To Buy This Book For My Stepmom

Truss, Eats, Shoots and Leaves -- Jerz: EL150 (Intro to Literary Study)
"It is appalling ignorance."

When I saw that Eats, Shoots & Leaves was a book about punctuation, my stepmother immediately came to mind. As I read further into the book, I am thoroughly convinced that this book was written specifically for her. She will write these ridiculous notes for my sister and I reminding us to do something, and the punctuation errors are astonishing and abominable. Here are some examples of a typical note:

This one is for my dad to remind him about his Sirius satellite radio bill. It is never taken off of the refrigerator.

Sirius' Radio!
12.95
every Month!!!

This one is a detailed description of things that she wanted my sister and I do on a particular day last summer:

"Girl's",
Can you Please water all the Plant's in the front and back yard To day especialy the one's in the hanging Basket's. Also rember to not do any Laundry until I get home because the Dryer is broken Dont forget to feed the "Dog" and give him Water.
Thanks! Have a good day! Love, "Mom"

That was not even an exaggeration. This next one is my personal favorite. It is a reminder taped to the washer and dryer:

GIRLS! "ATTENTION!!" Do 'not change the water Temperture of the Washer. If "You" wash your cloth's in warm Water your clothse will not! shrink If you Do change it, remeber to put it back to "Warm"! because they will dry Faster. Also rember to clean out the "Lint" tarp. Thank's! "Mom"!

She claims that she had some college education as an English major, but I'm not even really sure how she graduated high school with writing like that. She honestly doesn't know that she makes these mistakes; at least I think she doesn't. I mean, if she knowingly makes these kinds of errors in her writing and did nothing to correct them, there is something seriously wrong with her mind! I never make an attempt to call her attention to this because I'm not really sure how she would react, and I'm kind of scared to find out.

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on March 18, 2007 10:11 PM.

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